this post was submitted on 27 Jan 2026
633 points (99.7% liked)

Not The Onion

19509 readers
1352 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] Lodespawn@aussie.zone 43 points 1 day ago (5 children)

Nice work fun police, who ya gonna get? The old fart with the America song?

[–] Ludicrous0251@piefed.zip 44 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It's gonna be the Kid Rock and Hulk Hogan "it's not gay because we said 'no homo' circle jerk spectacular" featuring George Santos.

[–] Lodespawn@aussie.zone 22 points 1 day ago (2 children)
[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 2 points 12 hours ago

hot dogs have preservatives.

[–] AbsolutelyNotAVelociraptor@sh.itjust.works 25 points 1 day ago (2 children)

And you think magats are smart enough to remember that? They'll get a guy barely ressembling hogan and call it a day

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 1 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago)

that would be kid rock or ted nugent. or they get triple H to dress up like hogan. remember the mcmahons are TRUMP financiers.

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 28 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

Look, all they want is a muscular man with facial hair in shorts telling them how he's going to dominate them, pin them to the floor and just start pounding them. Otherwise, it's too gay.

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 1 points 12 hours ago

a guy that looks like a hot dog, with hair like a doll.

[–] Dultas@lemmy.world 4 points 23 hours ago

You forgot ripping his shirt off.

Kid Rock and Ted Nugent would be my guess. But I mean, you could swing a dead cat and hit like six or seven country/western singers who hate dark-skinned and/or LGBTQ+ Americans in a given honky-tonk, so they'll have no shortage of talent. And, make no mistake, some of these people are talented... but if they just use that talent to try to further divide the poor people for the benefit of the wealthy, I don't think they are worthy of my attention.

[–] kn0wmad1c@programming.dev 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] buddascrayon@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

He'll only come if the Ninja Turtle is underage.

[–] adespoton@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 day ago

It’s in the name… they’re all teenagers.

[–] fartographer@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

No, I have a conflicting schedule. I'm gonna be too busy not being there.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Have him sing the Canada version