Ask Lemmy
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IMO they're both good and deserve our weight, I do think they can work off each other.
I use Lemmy because their mobile app support is much better and Jerboa (the Lemmy maintainers' app) has everything I need and not a single bit more. I think it would be great for Piefed to get more app support.
There are a lot of features that I think Lemmy can benefit from emulating from Piefed, like the option to show comments from crossposted threads, filters, and more granular moderation capability. I heard Piefed is a lot lighter on resources, so if I were to self-host I might use that one. Also I have no idea how many of Lemmy's shortcomings are due to be addressed in their planned 1.0 release.
Lemmy development is slow whereas Piefed is a bit faster, I think each is great in their own right. Not everyone agrees with me here, but I think the Lemmy developers do a good job keeping their personal beliefs to their own instance, rather than let it infiltrate the code base. Same with Piefed. I think the development of both should be encouraged rather than trying to find rifts and making it a team sport.
and this one:
people were happy that lemmy does not do this...
So PieFed is great for the health and growth not just of itself but for the entire Threadiverse, imho. And then seeing how well and which features are most popular in PieFed, Lemmy can copy to improve experience on that side. Also as people leave Lemmy - e.g. lemm.ee shutting down was a major event but even more relevant is the overall reduction in number of active users, from ~55k in the peak after Rexodus to only ~35k today - then hopefully PieFed can at least entice some of those who are definitely leaving Lemmy to remain at least in the wider Threadiverse.
That said, as Lemmy moves forward so slowly, increasingly it is going to miss out on an ever-growing share of what that wider Threadiverse offers. e.g. polls and hashtags, neither of which I see mentioned in the planned 1.0 release. Every single post, if Lemmy can render it at all (it can't for polls) will lack information that only shows on PieFed. And with funding, active user counts, and number of new instances all decreasing... this going to affect Lemmy further. Most of that would have happened anyway regardless of whether PieFed existed though, so again I am glad for the latter since otherwise people would just leave the Threadiverse entirely. e.g. here is one such very interesting irl story: https://jeena.net/lemmy-switch-to-piefed.
that page limit is very bad. essentially makes lemmy posts ephemeral. did we forget that we hated it when reddit did that?