this post was submitted on 14 Jan 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] Formfiller@lemmy.world 18 points 1 day ago (5 children)

Women are people so you talk to them how you would talk to another person

[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Talking to women and talking to women you want to date are slightly different things tbh. The latter doesn't necessarily come naturally for all.

And online, it gets even harder oftentimes. Creating a captivating conversation out of an empty bio, two generic photos and a name? That's still damn difficult for me and I've been on tinder for like 4 years out of the last 8. Obviously it's easier if the conversational partner throws you a bone. OOP didn't exactly have a great opener to begin with and then was given a "tyyy". Try riffing on that. Good luck. I can see why OOP gave up on the conversation.

Online "dating" sucks. I'm sure women have their own reasons why it sucks (safety in particular), but for men it sucks because generally speaking, you're expected to prove yourself as an interesting conversational partner within 2-3 messages. Even on Bumble it's the same, as seen in the screenshot. Women have to write first there, but usually it's just "hi" or an emoji.

So I also don't know how to talk to women. I have female friends. I'm not an incel, I've had a couple of long-term relationships and some, eh, situationships I guess? Even some with people I met on dating apps. Meet me in person? We're staying awake talking until 5 AM. Actually give me something to riff about in your bio or at least reply to me with more than one word? We're at the very least going to have a fun conversation, maybe meet in real life. But give me an empty bio and one word replies? I'm sorry, but I just don't know how to talk to you.

[–] nickiwest@lemmy.world 3 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

An empty bio and one-word replies sounds like someone who's not worth talking to. I don't think that's your failure.

[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 1 points 3 hours ago

That's half the girls on Tinder sadly. I tend to swipe most of the empty bios left and lately just abandon the conversation if the other half doesn't seem interested or interesting enough to at least reply with something creative too.

But that's just the reality of online "dating". It's a numbers game and heavily in favour of women. As someone once said, men are looking for drinking water in the desert, while women are looking for it in the ocean. Sucks for everyone, just in different ways.

[–] Fredthefishlord@lemmy.blahaj.zone 43 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Ok but like. Dating and flirting talk is different from normal talk. More giggly, more vibes. Some people can't do that for shit

[–] Formfiller@lemmy.world 22 points 1 day ago

There’s a lot of women who can’t do that either. It’s not a movie and a lot of us have the same executive functioning disorders that make this confusing. I think people need to find someone who connects with them so pretending to be someone else is a bad strategy

[–] peopleproblems@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

That's almost impossible to do over text.

Almost.

So I talk to them how I talk to my friends with a lot more enthusiastism.

That ends up where I start just turning into an essay writer and I have overwhelmed at 6 in the past year.

So maybe not normal talk either.

[–] Fredthefishlord@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I'm so bad at flirting over text. I can do it irl somewhat once the first bit of convo gets jumpstarted but mannn dating apps kill me. I get far more people down to hang in person than ever from a dating app.

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I did, end result was someone actually contacts me for a date, but I just...don't feel anything, so I just end up talking to hear her life story, and nothing actually happens.

I will be single for life 🥲

But that's ok! I don't want to drag anyone into a relationship with a miserable person who does not want to live anyway (hence, relationships are last place).

[–] Formfiller@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

I’m feeling like a lot of people relate to this these days unfortunately

[–] Zozano@aussie.zone 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)

"I took a mad shit today, it smelt acidic bro, even after I flushed, it stuck to the side of the bowel. I used my kegel muscles to piss at Mach 10 speed, but all it really did it spray a bit of piss on the toilet seat. So anyway how you doing, are you free to catch up for a coffee?"

[–] Formfiller@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I’m sure there’s someone out there for you but generally unfiltered honesty increases after a relationship has been established. You probably wouldn’t start a conversation with this when meeting anyone new but if you would I’m sure someone like that is out there there’s a lot of weirdos out there

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

this explains so much about my life and my oddly shaped churo penis.

[–] Zozano@aussie.zone 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Care to elaborate over a coffee?

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

sure, churos taste great with good coffee.

[–] nialv7@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I don't know how to talk to another person either.

[–] Formfiller@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago