this post was submitted on 13 Jan 2026
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I wonder if I should tell My disabled nonbinary partner to sign up for ICE, grab the 50 grand, and flee the country with it
Do it. Crime is legal now.
The sign on bonus is a retention bonus for staying 5 years. You, myself, the entire world know he is not good for paying bills.
Every single member eligible hire will be let go at 4 Years 354 days, or just not paid at all. See the $2,000 Check they were going to send to every American.
5 years is crazy, even Elon companies don't make you wait 5 years for a vest
It's because the election is a 4 year cycle. He will either be dead, in jail, or emperor supreme by the time the 5 years is up so he will never have to pay.
Ah Art of the deal, See this is why im not president
Usually sign on bonuses are broken out over a period of time, you'd receive say 25% in your first paycheck, 25% after 3 months, 25% after 6 months and the last 25% after 12 months. Or in my wife's case when she took a CNA role in 2021 she got $1k in the first paycheck, $1k after 3 months and the last $1k after 6 months for her $3k sign on bonus
Gosh that is so much less exciting than what it sounds like.
I think the case with ICE is 5 years. Which isn't a crazy time period for large incentives to kick in normally, but the odds of these ICE agents still being employed in 5 years isn't great if MAGA goes down, and if it doesn't then 50k won't buy a decent pair of shoes in 5 years.
Though the base pay is far from bad with the job requirement of a pulse. So it's not like the department isn't bleeding cash to make USA worse.