this post was submitted on 13 Jan 2026
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I don't know what other women hear, but I get a lot of "you look tired today" when we don't wear make up - and it was worse before it started Botox/filler. I don't think people even know that they are pushing the culture.
Who sets those expectations? I hope it's not your boss, personally telling you to wear makeup. I hope it's not a husband or SO telling you you need to wear makeup to be presentable.
I'd say it's very obvious that the flippant comments are informed by culture, and not yours or their personally set expectations. (I mean, unless you have an asshole boss that does try to set expectations, but I'm not hearing that in what was said so far)
I'm my boss and my husband prefers no makeup, so I'm in the clear there. 😁
I hear it from clients, store clerks, or other random people I interact with. It's the new "you should smile more" for me.
Thats only because there's a big difference between no make up and make up. Makeup also specifically hides signs of being tired. Its a matter of expectation, but one that you set yourself.
I don't know your experience with makeup, being tired and aging... I get the sense that people (often men) cannot tell the difference between tired and aging. Makeup hides both. I don't get the comments often from women very often. So I am assuming they are able to see the nuance (or have the tact to not say something).
Men dont actively think about it usually. There should be signs we learn of those around us that show when they are tired or any other state, but if a woman hides those signs with makeup, men will just assume makeup equals not tired and no makeup equals tired.
I guess that could be me though and not men in general.