this post was submitted on 12 Jan 2026
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Who are we to worry about the wellbeing of our loved ones? We're well-meaning adults in a situation where we can't be certain they weren't raped. We might be wrong and sticking our nose where it doesn't belong, or we might be right and end up being the one person dedicated enough to save another person from a case of grooming. Those cases specifically rely on a person to dig too deep - they wouldn't be uncovered otherwise.
It's a difficult place to be in, which is why we shun those relationships from the get-go. Nobody wants to be in that situation, and there are enough people in the world to have sex with that we can afford to say "not anyone who specifically had a hand in influencing what your developing brain considered 'normal.'"
It's a sensitive topic, and I'm not the most sensitive person, but I'm not out to be a troll. Rights to personal autonomy, and consent, and privacy are at the crux of it. But also people hurt other people and it's good to look out for that and to help each other to prevent that. Just don't be a dick, I guess. Don't dictate feelings to a rational adult.
We're definitely in agreement with that. Abuse is a tough subject to broach, and requires a lot of tact to do it right, but if someone is well-meaning, I don't think the conversation itself should be shunned.
One time my sister's husband got frustrated while trying to load a bunch of stuff into his car, and ended up throwing something in his frustration. It wasn't at anyone or anything, but it was such a stark difference from how he normally acts that I felt the need to subtly take my sister aside and ask if he ever hit her. It was a bit awkward, but she knew that my heart was in the right place, so she assured me he wasn't abusive, and even told him what I had asked to show him how his action looked to a third party, which caused him to take me aside to apologize and thank me for looking out for my sister.
All that to say, it's good to care for your loved ones, and having mutual respect can let you poke your nose a bit deeper than usual so long as its for the right reasons. As a society we simply try to keep those situations from being necessary in the first place, which is why we tend to be uncomfortable with relationships that are at a higher risk of being abusive.
I appreciate this discussion. I was about to post an emoji instead of saying that, and got overwhelmed by the list of emojis.
Haha! I appreciate it as well.