this post was submitted on 08 Jan 2026
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If you're ever lost in a forest, and you want to be rescued, just start building a house. Someone will magically appear to ask if you have a building permit.
Put on a pair of headphones and start listening to something. Then set about to making shelter or building a fire or something. You'll be rescued as soon as your hands are full because someone will come along to ask you the single most inane question of your life.
In telecoma version is take a fibre optic cable with you and burry it. A backhoe will promptly arrive to dig it up.
If you're in the desert, start mixing a Dry Martini, an Englishman will appear to tell your recipe is wrong and his is the correct one.