this post was submitted on 07 Jan 2026
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I'm not willing to be anyone's punching bag anymore. No thanks.
I appreciate your effort to engage genuinely and in good faith, rather than smugly and dismissively. I really mean that. But I'm a lost cause, and I've done a lot of work to accept that. I'm not going to regress now by convincing myself that I have any hope for a better future.
Literally my last round of therapy wasn't even about overcoming internal social blocks anymore. It was about learning to accept my present situation, reframing "isolation" as "solitude" or whatever cope it takes for me to not wind up back in the hospital again...
I hope one day you discover that this is just you bullshitting yourself.
We often don't realize it when we do it to ourselves.
I was bullshitting myself when I told myself I had a chance to make a difference in the world, make it a better place and live a life worth living.
You're right, I didn't realize it at the time. I truly believed that at the time...
I think it's unnecessary to think you need to make difference in the world. Do what you want for yourself. You don't owe the world.
I tried to stop fascism from taking over, but I was too powerless. I viewed that as a necessary difference to make, and I couldn't do it.
Now people online are acting like it's a moral failing if I don't take action now. It's too late, dunces. People should have listened when I was trying to warn them.
Also, I'm tired of being blamed for systemic racism/sexism or whatever just because I'm a white man. I've never been near the levers of wealth and power. But I'm an easy target, and that's all people care about.
They say things like "you're not being targeted" while simultaneously making whatever excuses to justify why it's somehow okay to denigrate me and if I have a problem with that then somehow I'm the bigot.
It's not fair, but it sure seems like a lot of people are convinced I do owe the world...