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The thing i don't get is why do women put up with it?
I think some of it boils down to different standards, generally the neater/cleaner person will expect the other person to change their behaviour. When I hear people moaning about significant others doing nothing I do think that it takes both people to allow it. Most people will live together for a while before marriage/kids so you have no excuse to complain if you know what they're like and still marry etc
Many reasons.
Some people are taught gender essentialism from a young age. Women are like this, men are like that, and there's no way to change it. It's just nature (or God) that women clean and take care of the house, and men go out and hunt.
Many boys are socialized from a young age not to cook or clean. Many girls are taught that that's what they do. Have you seen this in your life? A family gathering, where the boys run off to play and the women and girls stick around to clean up? Children learn from what they see and what they're taught.
It's only recently that women had any shot at financial independence. Women weren't guaranteed the right to open a bank account until 1974, in the US. Sexual discrimination is a problem with finding a career to pay one's own way. From that, one can infer that some women "put up with" shitty men, because the alternative is destitution.
Some women may believe that changing it is just too much work- it's not an immutable nor innate property of men that they don't cook or clean or know anything about the children, but changing that would be an overwhelming amount of work. If the man's not interested in changing anything, it's even more daunting, and may damage the relationship.
Also some men get violent if they feel threatened, insulted, or hungry.
These are just some things I've read or women have talked to me about. I'm a dude doing the best I can. Talk to the women in your life (but don't make them teach you a whole seminar for free, heh.)
That's what I mean though. Why stay or care about damaging the relationship? Sunk cost fallacy. Some times a hard choice needs to be made. This choice should be made before children/mortgages etc. There's the old stereotype of men enter a relationship thinking the women wont change and women enter a relationship hoping the man will.
When women don't put up with it en masse you get massive waves of men threatening women. That's a big part of the whole gen Z gender war thing.
Threaten to do what?
If women don't put up with it en masse then there is fuck all men can do about it. Mass action is how things change