this post was submitted on 17 Dec 2025
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I feel ya. Like all things - sometimes we need to adjust how we handle situations to improve our control on them.
So nobody is psychic and if you can't read social cues that can make it harder but from my perspective: id say you made your move - let her work out the rest. You can't/shouldn't force it... Even if you feel like you bombed the whole thing... If you two had chemistry and she was interested shed reach out.
Generically - Approach somone you are interested in the same way you'd approach a potential friend you wanted to hang out with. If you're interacting and have a common interest... Find a thing you'd want to do and offer to meet them there (specific thing/place/time.) If they can't but are interested they will often suggest something else. If not respect their apparent decision and just roll with it. Its up to you how you'd want to interact following that ... But keep it classy and dont force the issue.
That isn't really something you'd want to do, personally speaking. Its hard putting yourself out there - but respect yourself enough to not appear needy. That will drive people away from you in a hurry.
Again, with regard to her response - I'd interpret it as: "thanks, I appreciate the interest - but I'm not interested/available."
Absolutely, it'd be easier for you to grasp if she spelled that out... But it takes a certain amount of effort to turn somone down too. So she may be shy, not great at it, etc. It also depends on the situation / where this is occurring.
If you gave her your number and didn't get a text - chances are good she was just passively rejecting the advance. No shame in that. Not all advances and attempts end in success... The important thing is you took the shot and tried.
hmm, still kind of worried she might think i'm just some weirdo stalking/obsessed with her though. its...it's a whole foods, i have specific dietary requirement and they're the only real store in area that meets them, then i just kind of hangout at the cafe area for awhile, do some writing and stuff. now it's just kind of routine for me. I noticed she always looked depressed as fuck (who wouldnt be, working retail/chain-store type place)
can't help but think she's probably thinking...what kinda dude hangs out at a fucking whole foods of all places?
figure if there's any shot at all, getting the whole autism thing out there might be a "ooooh, yeah that explains alot"-moment... and atleast that way she might not be worried about me being some kind of creep. (i have noticed these side-long glances back into the store directly at me as she leaves, a sort of "is this fucker gonna try and follow me home"-look. again, tatted up city girl, she probably has her guard up all the way all the time).
this is just how my AuADHD brain works, i consider everything all the time. not obsessed with her, just...considering all possible scenarios.
edit/ spelling it all out, one scenario I hadnt considered. seeing as I have made my interest clear...if i keep on showing up to this place and doing my thing, if she's interested/available (and maybe she did throw my # away early) then eventually she should be the one to reach out to me, right?
Again, I understand the desire but you've got to remember that she's at work. She can't leave if you make it awkward. Nobody is stopping you from still doing what you do there... Writing or what have you. If you see her there's nothing wrong with a smile and a nod... But let her do her thing. If she wants to swing by and chat she will. Same thing with the number. Gotta respect her choice and the fact shes at work doing her job.
Like I mentioned earlier: keep it classy.