this post was submitted on 17 Dec 2025
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None of the men who say the things in panel 1 are the same ones who say the things in panel 3.
Men are not a monolith. The panel 1 men are on your side re the panel 3 men. Don't push them away with sexist generalizations.
Also, women do this plenty as well (google "nice girls"), you just don't hear about it as much, even though I suspect the % of women who do it is comparable to the % of men (if not more, which I think may be the case, based on the second bullet point below), simply because women experience a lower absolute number of rejections, as a sex, than men do, by virtue of the following:
And for a mini-anecdote along those lines: I've personally been called the f-slur for rejecting a woman who propositioned me while having a boyfriend I was aware of.
Sorry, pal, but:
The thing is, I don’t blame women for valid self protective instincts. Ghosting is antisocial bullshit, but it’s the easiest solution available to a potential for real, serious harm, especially when you are only one of some dozen guys one woman might be dealing with on the subject.
I know the women who’ve ghosted me are making generalizations. I know they’re wrong, but I can’t blame them based on what they knew. It always feels personal, even when you’re seeing learned behavior by trends.
I agree problems would be solved if women did the approaching more often, but I get why that’s hard (for everyone), and I can see how they get used to the routine of being approached and deciding based on that.
Who tf cares if you get ghosted?
No one owes anyone anything. Including closure. Just move on.
I mean, you can criticize the reaction, but be aware that much of the world is going to have it, as a natural human thing.
You’ve been lonely in your life, you feel like you’re getting along well with someone of the opposite sex (potentially misreading friendliness as romantic interest) and make an offer, working past many layers of butterflies in your stomach. The worst she can say is No, right?
No, turns out, the worst she can say is “Maybe. I’m kind of busy with finals and some other stuff going on, but we’ll see.”, which your mind takes as a Yes, getting you all excited - you then text them later, at a polite rate, to try to follow up and make something work. Only weeks later, after conflicting possibilities and doubts clash in your mind from a bunch of unreplied or vague messages, do you concede to the fact that not only were you not good enough, you were so scary and horrible to the person in question you weren’t even good enough to give a direct answer to. You’re a destructive, potentially murderous monster they needed to protect themselves from. All because you were just interested in spending time with someone attractive, as all of us are wired to try.
Not all of that is an honest, objective take, but that’s still how it comes across in the mind of the receiver. Similarly, there’s no legal requirement that each person say “Good morning!” to each other each day, but being denied basic pleasantries and human interaction, even as much as receiving an honest and flat rejection, can wear on someone, even if I fully understand (as I said) why it happens.
Any individual does not owe any one individual their attention. But each individual is owed some attention by someone.
You'd have to have an incredibly meager sense of self, and frankly not be great at communicating, if you think a maybe is a yes.
If you need a yes then you can say "I'm sorry, but I'd like more certainty" and bounce or "yeah, cool" and see where it goes.
All of the stuff you wrote says to me "I need therapy very badly and I can't communicate".
No one owes anyone else anything.
"Not all men, also women are bad".
Yeah, man, not all men. Some men though. Some men, definitely.
lol
might seem like a gotcha at first glance, but it was a logical statement akin to saying "none of the men with blonde hair have black hair."
I present the album cover of Sia's This is Acting as evidence.
Except what you said is logically consistent, unlike what they said
Comic is ragebaiting. The artist isn't looking for discussion and the people supporting it as some "truth" aren't either.
Call a spade a spade and don't bother engaging. The people that peddle this slop arent feminists... They are certified sexists that just want to retaliate against everyone and think they are somehow beyond reproach. Its shit behavior and it needs to stop being tolerated.
Social commentary in comics? Can you imagine THE HORROR if Scott Adams criticized people who are bosses?
I'm all deep offend.
Golly-gee... Those old warner / disney cartoons drawing those other silly cultures we were at war with were only social commentary! Whys everyone upset!
I'd like to think that people have the slightest ability to discern the obvious parallel here. But let's feign ignorance and say its okay to generalize an entire sex because its only a comic / cartoon / opinion bro!
... Go on. Tell me it's different.
WTF are you on about? The only rage-baiter in here is you! If fact, you are a master of rage baiting. A real masteragebaiter, so to speak.
The artist doesn't have to conform to any of your standards. Just turn it off if you don't like it. The rest of your whine fest is pathetic work the refs nonsense, like your opinion matters when there's no score kept and the speech is free.
I admire the effort it took to really wedge that in. Not many would attempt that.
I was pretty clear there. If you want to discuss it maybe turn your faux-offense down a notch eh?
You are literally making my point for me. Its almost comical. I drew a parallel to offensive media in the past disparaging multiple demographics... And that's precisely the argument those people made. Just dont watch it. Get thicker skin. Etc.
I'd hope you see why this statement has ... Em ... Issues. If not let me pose a simple question. If somone made a comic where the sexes were reversed here... I don't even need to imagine the moral outrage in the comments. So in effect you are implicitly saying it's okay in only one direction? Am I getting that right? But yes. Wtf am I on about... Indeed.
Idk man, I had a very reasonable discussion with the commentor you're responding to yet I support the comic. If you look through the comments here, they're absolutely chock full of people patiently explaining their perspective, and then comments like yours which are openly dismissing those people before ever engaging with them. You're being unfair, in a way very similar to what you criticize the comic for doing.
The comic in a vaccum could just be a commentary on the aritists own experience.. Sure. I've seen some of their other work - and on other subjects it's perfectly fine. They "appear" to have had a pretty unfortunate experience with men and dating. That sucks, but presenting that opinion in the last panel is where it goes awry. It can be pretty easily interpreted as a blanket statement... And a quick glance around this post seems to confirm (some-not-all) are using it to push that blanket (bad faith) statement as if it were absolute.
Not all people are reasonable. Perhaps the author didn't intend for it to be interpreted as such: But it's very easy to see how it could be - and based on comments here... is.
Edit: coffee.
Yes. Two different perspectives - yet one is being maligned. By and large, there are reasonable commenters here. Lemmy does have more sane than most people present... But not everyone is. And that is what I was making an observation on.
Considering the reaponses I've made this far - I'd suggest I seem to be engaging quite a bit. I am dismissive of a number of logical falicies for what should be apparent reasons, though.
In what way?
So when you do it it's perfectly justified, but if you were to write that exact sentiment down in a comic....?
Some of the men in panel 1, will also act like the men in panel 3.
I understand your point, but it does not matter whether men are panel 1 or 3, when the interaction is short you can't tell which reaction it will be. The problem is that panel 3 men exist at all, and that society normalizes it to be like that. "Men will be men" and all that is the problem. I totally get why women would be guarded because of it. Our job as men is to point out toxic behavior when it happens. That's it.
Panel 3 women do, too. Some people are just shitheads.
That's simply not true. There is a reason neither men nor women are ever the ones willfully broadcasting this behavior: society absolutely does not justify this behavior. It's invariably the one on the receiving end calling them out (and the fact that it is seen as "calling them out" in the first place is more evidence that it is not a socially acceptable behavior).
Can you find a single, solitary example of a man being shown to react immaturely to being rejected posted online somewhere, and anything even close to the majority of the response being anything resembling "men will be men"? I contend you're fabricating this.
Do you also "totally get" why someone wouldn't trust black people after having a bad experience with a person who is black? Because this is the exact same line of reasoning white supremacists use.
It's not men's job to socially police men. It's everyone's job to socially police everyone. It's ridiculous to insinuate that it's any more a male's responsibility to call out bad behavior, just because the one behaving badly is also male.
If you think that the appropriate answer to "women feel scared to reject men because of common toxic behavior" is "but its not all men"... I'm sorry to call you out but you're part of the problem.
Instead of being defensive, try to see it from their point of view and accept that something is messed up where a lot of men are like this. And I don't agree that women that are rejected react like this. Quite the opposite actually.
It's an undeniable reality that women get unsolicited advances from men multiple times a day, whereas the opposite is not true.
Username checks out.
Also, sometimes it's men ignoring those actually interested in them. Be it too high standards or just incompatibly. I'm single, but I'm fairly certain I've friendzoned more people than who have friendzoned me, and I'm no Adonis or anything.
I have plenty of wishy washy reasons I did it at the time, but ultimately I probably just need therapy.
This is why I liked online dating. Those bullet points are almost eliminated.