this post was submitted on 17 Dec 2025
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I've seen guys like this but I don't get it. Why get angry that someone isn't into you? Just move on. Geez. Like, do you think she will change her mind if you insult her? What's the logic here? Just a bruised ego? Little man syndrome?
Yes, coupled with a lack of maturity—a bruised ego alone does not a ridiculous rejection response make.
It's the exact same reason women do it, when they do. There are plenty of posts on the 'nice girls' subreddit over the years of a woman doing the exact same 'you're ugly anyway' nonsense as an immediate reaction to rejection.
This is a human phenomenon, not a male one.
The comic is pure ragebait or the artist is presenting an opinion in bad faith... Or both.
I've had women approach me in the past and gotten similar reactions when they were turned down. People can be vile and entitled... and I fail to see how any sex is claiming some sort of moral high ground here.
Do my select experiences mean all women now are defaulted to that expected behavior? Of course not. I have enough common sense to know otherwise. Unfortunately, it appears that some are willing to subscribe to the bad faith argument of: "one bad apple means all apples are rotten." Its nonsense and a bit depressing to see them getting positive reinforcement for that behavior.
Edit: it appears that struck a nerve. Logic be damned 😅
i do wish people cared less about saving face/protecting feelings though...i'm really bad at reading some social ques (high-functioning autistic/adhd combo)
for example, recently asked a woman out in a kinda passive "if your ever bored or whatever, maybe we could see a movie or something here's my number" way, and got "thanks" as response (nothing else, just thanks). my brain assumes "oh, she might be interested but maybe i just came off as boring with that approach". so then i try again little over a week later, more direct this time with actual interesting date in mind that I know she would enjoy and get "thanks" again, but she doesn't show. So now i'm thinking "well...is she just not interested at all, and just being nice" or did (insert any dozen of scenarios that would/could impact her availability happen, i did kinda spring it on em last minute maybe they just couldn't show on such short notice)?
do i try a third time, and just go "alright...i'm kinda autistic, can you just be really blunt with me here and say your already in a relationship/not interested for whatever reason, or say yes and pick the date/place yourself?..because i'm gonna keep on coming here since it's part of my routine now and i don't want you getting uncomfortable thinking maybe i'm obsessed with you"? (some people in the city be weird, the thought occured to me this woman might just always have her guard up...being from the city).
sure, realistically she's probably just not interested/available, having my number from first ask she could just text me, but if she already threw it away by 2nd ask that showed i'm not complete square...got to ask 3rd time to be 100% sure, right?
all of this could be avoided if people just said what they mean instead of "thanks"
She’s not interested.
I’m assuming you identify/present male? If so, she is afraid of openly rejecting a man. There’s an old ‘joke’ that would be funnier if it was less true: men are afraid women will laugh at them; women are afraid men will kill them.
Trust me, you would get a lot more than ‘thanks’ if she was in to you.
If she were interested, and she could not make the time work, she would have given you a counter proposal.
Unless you either keep pushing for dates or radically change your behavior toward her, she's unlikely to think you're obsessed with her or a creep. Go back to how you were behaving before you asked her the first time.
I feel ya. Like all things - sometimes we need to adjust how we handle situations to improve our control on them.
So nobody is psychic and if you can't read social cues that can make it harder but from my perspective: id say you made your move - let her work out the rest. You can't/shouldn't force it... Even if you feel like you bombed the whole thing... If you two had chemistry and she was interested shed reach out.
Generically - Approach somone you are interested in the same way you'd approach a potential friend you wanted to hang out with. If you're interacting and have a common interest... Find a thing you'd want to do and offer to meet them there (specific thing/place/time.) If they can't but are interested they will often suggest something else. If not respect their apparent decision and just roll with it. Its up to you how you'd want to interact following that ... But keep it classy and dont force the issue.
That isn't really something you'd want to do, personally speaking. Its hard putting yourself out there - but respect yourself enough to not appear needy. That will drive people away from you in a hurry.
Again, with regard to her response - I'd interpret it as: "thanks, I appreciate the interest - but I'm not interested/available."
Absolutely, it'd be easier for you to grasp if she spelled that out... But it takes a certain amount of effort to turn somone down too. So she may be shy, not great at it, etc. It also depends on the situation / where this is occurring.
If you gave her your number and didn't get a text - chances are good she was just passively rejecting the advance. No shame in that. Not all advances and attempts end in success... The important thing is you took the shot and tried.
hmm, still kind of worried she might think i'm just some weirdo stalking/obsessed with her though. its...it's a whole foods, i have specific dietary requirement and they're the only real store in area that meets them, then i just kind of hangout at the cafe area for awhile, do some writing and stuff. now it's just kind of routine for me. I noticed she always looked depressed as fuck (who wouldnt be, working retail/chain-store type place)
can't help but think she's probably thinking...what kinda dude hangs out at a fucking whole foods of all places?
figure if there's any shot at all, getting the whole autism thing out there might be a "ooooh, yeah that explains alot"-moment... and atleast that way she might not be worried about me being some kind of creep. (i have noticed these side-long glances back into the store directly at me as she leaves, a sort of "is this fucker gonna try and follow me home"-look. again, tatted up city girl, she probably has her guard up all the way all the time).
this is just how my AuADHD brain works, i consider everything all the time. not obsessed with her, just...considering all possible scenarios.
edit/ spelling it all out, one scenario I hadnt considered. seeing as I have made my interest clear...if i keep on showing up to this place and doing my thing, if she's interested/available (and maybe she did throw my # away early) then eventually she should be the one to reach out to me, right?
Again, I understand the desire but you've got to remember that she's at work. She can't leave if you make it awkward. Nobody is stopping you from still doing what you do there... Writing or what have you. If you see her there's nothing wrong with a smile and a nod... But let her do her thing. If she wants to swing by and chat she will. Same thing with the number. Gotta respect her choice and the fact shes at work doing her job.
Like I mentioned earlier: keep it classy.