this post was submitted on 16 Dec 2025
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This almost gets it. Complements should be about choices.
Instead of saying, "you're so pretty." Try, "that color really brings out your sparkle."
"You're hair looks so amazing today, did you try a new product?" Not "You have pretty hair."
By complimenting the decision you have given ownership of the praise to the decision maker and not whatever gods you think made us. My hair is pretty because i painfully take care of it. Not because I'm blessed. Complement a persons decisions rather than station.
Yes, but I think it is more meaningful to compliment things which are the result of effort, or a long series of decisions. Compliment someone's muscles when they've been making the effort to work out for a couple months. Compliment someone's cooking ability if they spend a lot of time cooking and practicing that art. Compliment someone's hair if they clearly put effort into making it look good.
Love this addition, thank you!
I love complimenting people, man or woman. However, as you said, I like to compliment something that took effort or at least commitment, not luck. It costs nothing and often nets happiness.
I've mentioned this on lemmy before, but one of my favorite memories is complimenting a random guy's jacket in the waiting area at an Outback Steakhouse. The jacket was loud, but pretty cool. I said I liked it; he grinned, thanked me and clapped me on my shoulder. The person I presume was his girlfriend or wife rolled her eyes, but smiled.
That's all the context I have, but I assume she had teased him for it and he had defended it. Whatever the actual circumstances were, everyone walked away smiling.
NANI NANI! GRAMMAR POLICE HERE! YOU JUST SPELLED "You're hair" WRONG (correct is "Your hair").
I respect your integrity to stand by your convictions. We may disagree about those convictions, but it's good to see someone willing to speak up for there believes.
^sorry,^ ^could^ ^not^ ^resist^