Ask Lemmy

Oh, I can answer that. I'm not here to revive the topics, as these things usually go with people trying to nitpick, but hopefully it'll appease someone's curiosity.

One time, I made a comment on blahaj zone about gay guys wearing too much makeup and wearing feminine clothes that seemed to be crossing the line into cross-dressing. It had literally happened to me a week prior when I went out with my non-binary friends to the gay bar I frequent, so it was fresh in my mind. They wore skirts, lip gloss, and handbags. It's literally nothing out of the ordinary for them, and I actually appreciate it. The comment was made in jest because, well, they are gender non-conforming and that falls under the trans umbrella after all. Well, I guess someone thought I was being a bigot who was assuming things about gender and made a fuss by misinterpreting what I said. They started demanding that I apologize for my comment as if it were a big deal, and people started replying with their version of events. I refused and tried to explain that it wasn't the case, but they still banned me after someone reported me. I complained that they were being outrageous and had some very unkind words for the admin, who took matters too far and who I thought was being unfair.

Another time, I criticized communism on lemmy.ml. Unfortunately, I didn't know how cozied up they were with hexbear, who crusaded out of nowhere and started dunking on me, even though I didn't think I had said something bad. I thought it was light criticism, and I even explained that I'm not even against it, but they had no tolerance for it whatsoever. The next day, I was under 40+ comments calling me all kinds of shit. A mod (admin?) came across it and banned my account on sight. They even included some bullshit in the modlogs to hide the real motive. This happened about 2.5 years ago, so I don't remember all the details, sorry.

And the most recent one was when I was pleading for people to avoid posting blown-up, zoomed-in pictures of common phobias like spiders without a spoiler or NSFW tag, out of consideration for people who have a lifelong struggle with these things that pop up in /all, explaining that many underestimate how much of an effect it can have. It's hard to explain what happens in the moment, but let's just say that the UIs become less than helpful in a panic when your entire screen is covered with your phobia. It causes more than a jump scare from prolonged exposure, and it's followed by nervousness and agitation that lasts for a good while, which can ruin a good morning. I was called all kinds of shit, berated, blamed, and humiliated. I ended up reporting someone who was breaking the site-wide and sub rules. And who gets banned? Me, with some bullshit in the modlogs about how I'm a "known troll." The mod did end up unbanning and apologizing for jumping the gun, but only after I called them out on it in a different thread.

All of these cases have things in common: the rules were selectively enforced, people either misattributed or overloaded what the other was saying, the comments were scrubbed, and the wrong person was targeted.