this post was submitted on 12 Dec 2025
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This is Paxton. I didn't name him so dont judge me. I mostly call him Kitty Baby and MeMaw.

He's around 11 years old.

He was abandoned by a cousin of mine when she moved in with her bf.

I found him outside of my parents house while visiting on Thanksgiving about 5 years ago; and I asked about whoes cat that was.

My parents said it was Regina's cat. That she abandoned. She also had abandoned a little doberman that my parents were also taking care of (they found him a new home a few months later).

My mom said they were feeding the cat and tried to bring him inside a few times but he was terrified of their boxer and pitbull (reasonable) and ran back out. They had cats too but it wasn't enough assurance for Paxton.

My parents had bought my cousins old house. Which is how they ended up with her pets she literally just left there.

My mom told me she believed Paxton had been locked in the house for 3 months. With a huge bag of cat food and a dripping faucet.

So the story is: My mom had gone over to the house to look at it after talking to my cousin about buying it. And found the cat inside. Feces everywhere. And a large almost empty bag of cat food.

She got in a bit of an argument with my cousin about the whole thing. My cousin says she rehomed the cat to someone else in town and that person must have returned the cat to the house and didn't tell anyone. But my mom said she wasn't sure that was true.

My mom did tell me when she first discovered the cat, he seemed scared but did come up to her and attacked her ankles. She thought Paxton must have been scared and the isolation maybe made him aggressive.

(My family are big animal lovers and we always have had a lot of pets so my mom was sympathetic). My mom said she believes the cat must have been in that house alone for nearly 3 months because no one had been over there.

So back to my part in the story.

Thanksgiving.

It was getting cold outside and I worried this inside cat would not survive a cold illinois winter outdoors. I approached him and he let me pet him and I didn't become aware of his problems until later.

After i unsuccessfully tried to find him a new home for the 2 days I was visiting family, I decided he would come home with me to my tiny 1 room studio apartment (space being why I was reluctant to take him in). I lived about 5 hours away.

The car ride was uneventful and I think he slept most of it.

Very soon after arriving I became aware of his problems.

He had a lot of behavior problems and was very aggressive. This was also a big contributor to why I didn't continue to try to find him a new home (which was my original plan). I worried he would end up euthanized due to being aggressive. He was gorgeous, but most people wouldn't keep a cat as mean as he was.

My arms were constantly covered in scratches and bruised bite marks (he would bite me as hard as he could, not nips). But I told my concerned friends "I can fix him". He would often attack me out of the blue. Or I would pet him, he would seem to like it, then haul off and chomp down so hard on my arm I would have bruising from the bites. While he used his back paws to shred the rest of my arm.

I found out he had hip dysplasia and I personally think my cousin's son was cruel to him which made him defensively aggressive. I can't confirm this but im very suspicious.

Understanding he was in physical pain, I made cat staircases and bought foot stools and put them everywhere that he might want to go so that his hip wouldn't be strained.

That helped a ton with the aggression. Meaning he was in pain and lashing out.

After 2 years with me the attacks and biting almost completely stopped. By year 3 they did.

He learned that every touch from me was a kind touch. Never hurtful. Never mean. Well, almost never.

This was challenging because I did start cutting his front nails and I often did have to do a burrito cat with a towel to trim them.

First two years was very horrible for both of us for nail trimming time. But because of him scratching me so much , I had to. I still trim his nails now but it's so he doesn't get caught on the furniture. I can do it without the burrito technique now.

He still will growl if I pick him up and hold him for more than 5 seconds. But no more of the mean vindictive behaviors of attacking or biting me hard from petting.

And he still seems nervous when he eats. I had to tuck his food under a table and near the wall so he could position himself so he can watch and eat. He still often will run off away from his food if I'm near it. I don't know what happened to him to be that way.

He isn't a lap cat and never will be. But he likes to sit near me most of the time and will purr and moan when I pet him how he likes. He comes up to me for affection. Rubs on my legs when I'm doing the dishes. Occasionally sleeps at the foot of the bed. It's really all I could ask for.

I was able to move into a house a few months back so now he has a ton of room to explore. And I'm not as overwhelmed by cat hair as I was in the small studio.

Anyway. Moral of the story. Sometimes you can fix him. ๐Ÿ˜ฝ Just takes like 2 years of wearing arm coverings and a hell of a lot of patience.

I'm trying my best to give him the best kitty life. Trying to make up for his first 5 years.

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[โ€“] seathru@quokk.au 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)

My mom told me she believed Paxton had been locked in the house for 3 months. With a huge bag of cat food and a dripping faucet.

I thought it was weird one of the only things I found in my house when I moved in (that wasn't obviously trash) was a half eaten bag of cat food. Then I found this sweet(ish) girl in the attic when I was crawling around looking for leaks.

I assume the previous tenant left her (and 2 others outside that I was able to re-home). She's definitely a broken cat. She'll take a couple pets and then shred your arm. But it's been almost a year and she gets more comfortable every day.

[โ€“] daannii@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

Wow. I really hoped abandoning cats in locked houses was not common.

I think that isolation is very traumatic for them.

I hope your cat learns you are safe and she won't be abandoned by you and can let down her guard.

It took a really long time to win over my cats trust but I just tried to be patient and provide a safe place.

That's all we can do. And hope they recover.