this post was submitted on 28 Nov 2025
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Today I Learned

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[–] Smoogs@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

What I’m gleaning from the worst of the posters I’ve seen and responded to on here, it’s not even the hardship so much as low self esteem from making comparisons about the hardship they are feeling and getting most hung up on.

Every one of them get hung up on their perspective someone else’s thoughts about them. It’s always about someone else who ‘hates them’. And they cannot overcome it.

they aren’t seeing this as a self esteem problem but a problem with the world for not gifting them what they are missing from themself. Self acceptance. And living in that resentment and taking it out on everyone around them. You can see it in how their first go-to is ‘to tell the left to fuck off’ as being their entire reason for going right. They don’t even lead with what they are getting on the right unless you dig more than one conversation from it. So that tells you right there how little they are willing to work on themself when you have to basically pull teeth to get it out of them that there’s supposedly any depth in their decisions to go right.

this isn’t growth. This isn’t the trait of a survivor. This is not someone who is getting their needs met. This is victimhood mentality. You see this kind of rhetoric in full blown addicts who won’t seek therapy to stop their carousel of self destruction.

These incels are their own worst enemy. Not the world. Themselves.

I’m going to guess that you are speaking well about your mother as she’s helped you gain some good tools to see your self worth and regardless of what possible mean thing another person might even say to you: that’s a reflection of themselves. Not you.

And you said it yourself: others have had it as bad or worse than you. And you can recognize this.

you’re not alone in your struggle. No one is really. In group therapies you especially see this as each person tells their story : it’s the same thing for every listener (who is working on the self) that regardless of where they come from' , we’re all struggling. And we’re not here to compare ourselves to others.

Looking at your situation as well as any survivors of hardship: they understand that they have to make a decision every day to commit to surviving. It isn’t something given, it’s something you do for you with intention.

I’ve not yet heard anything yet that at the right are actually offering them that helps them deal with this problem. There are no tools. All there is only anger and spite towards the left and a healthy side of a ‘poor me’ attitude.

[–] JoeBigelow@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 week ago

Group therapy was the best thing that has ever happened to me