Funny

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submitted 2 weeks ago by ooli3@sopuli.xyz to c/funny@sh.itjust.works

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[–] xxce2AAb@feddit.dk 31 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

"The proper authorities have directed me to instruct you to immediately cease breathing, as it has been determined that you're wasting precious oxygen with deplorably low return on investment. I'd offer my condolences to your loved ones, but that'd be asinine since we both know you haven't got any."

[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 11 points 2 weeks ago

The very molecules that comprise your being would be better put to use as the poop in my rectum