this post was submitted on 28 Nov 2025
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Today I Learned

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[–] Ougie@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago (2 children)

See this is exactly what GaMEChld is talking about, with the first mention of men the first thing you thought about was assault. As if this is the norm yeah? An inherent trait of normal people. Men, what do they do? In their free time they watch football and assault women. Smh You need to surround yourself with normal people my friend

[–] Madzielle@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

... because every.. many, like, every woman I've ever been friends with, which isnt a whole lot compared to the 8 billion people, but yet, every woman I've been friends with has experienced sexual assault at least once.

What I think also needs to be brought up, is many people who go on to assault, were once assaulted themselves as a child. Women talk about this, men really don't. What I mean is, if a young girl gets raped, even if it's secret at frist, she will likely seek support at some point. I don't think men do in the same way, they seem to internalize, from what I've seen.

My step father raped his bio daughter, was raped by his uncle himself at 12.

My uncle, raped his daughter too, also raped as a child by his uncle (maybe the same one).

My Dv relationship, the guy was raped by the mothers boyfriend at 10.

An ex, who was adopted wholly through the system, raped at 12 by his dad, "but it only happened once so I forgive him". This guy is the only one on this list who wouldn't hurt a fly, but he was the type who didn't wash or wipe his bum properly, because it might make you "gay".

Another ex, was raped by a male authority figue in his life,, and I only know from a wild acid trip he got black out drunk for. He wouldn't have told me sober. He was vauge, but clear, with his story. The man sobbed for 4 hours. I was on half the acid he was, and had not drank. He was mean to me sometimes, and didn't respect me, but I still cried with him and held hella empathy with him in that moment.

The year I was going to sign my kid up for scouts, the leader got arrested for molesting multiple boys, I never ended up putting my kid in scouts for this fear. Based on observation, I strongly suspect he has some dark history too.

Is it right this happens? No. Is it frequent enough it could be considered "normal"? Honestly.. not normal, but common.

And men don't get support, they're "not allowed to talk about it", they don't want to talk about it, so they hit the bottle and get involved in what we can define as risky behavior. And they suffer, and some put their suffering on others, and spread this disease further.

My own brother, who as far as I know was never raped, and has never raped, won't attend family gatherings with children about, because we've so much familial history with this kind of thing, he just stays away. Once me and my sister had children, he ghosted.

It's a disease that affects not only the main victim, but all the people around them.

It's a serious thing, and this is what I think needs talking about more. Shift it off women, men rape, men don't rape.. let's talk about male on male violence for a fucking second.

If an adult man, rapes a young boy, how does that move through his life experience? How does that shape who he is? How does it define "power" to these young men? How can we help these kids? How can we stop this?

I think, vulnerability, and talking about it, men sharing there stories so that others can too, bring awareness to it, would be a fucking start. How many men walk around each day with this shit weighing on them?

Every man who has raped me had a story. All I'm fucking saying. It starts somewhere, and as maladaptive as it is, it is a fucked up coping usually for truama in their life. It's holding power over another to make oneself feel "strong".

We don't get to pick our families, and fucked up shit happens to kids, all the damn time. Sexual violence as a whole needs to be adressed. I want to see it end. It causes so much pain for he/she/they alike.

[–] Smoogs@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

The post is comparing genders political leanings and a comment trying to convince us with this tripe that it falls squarely on women who are argued to be voting on the left here and you’re here saying we’re permitted to talk about the why of it. The permeation of violence that does shape men’s world.

And violent men who don’t want to talk about it….where are the Epstein files….

We’re talking about it. Regardless of your ‘permission’. I do not need your permission. No one here does.

Men are more dangerous to all genders than women. This is statistically a fact.

Let’s be clear: this is not the same as saying women never violate men. Cuz I know that’s another little card all you incels like to reach for whenever this fact is brought up to try to steer it off course. And let me warn you: if you were gonna lean hard on that: you no longer can convince me you give a shit about men or mens mental health if that is how you think this should play.

Placing the ownership on everything else: women, the left, the dog, the cat, everyone but the person who CAN change the situation is being done here.

Stop blaming the left.

Stop blaming women.

Pull up your big boy pants and Own your shit.

[–] GaMEChld@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The majority of violence coming from men does not mean the majority of men are violent. Treating all men as guilty for the crimes of a few is stupid. That'd be like pointing to Casey Anthony and saying women shouldn't be unsupervised with children.

In what way do you want the average guy to "own his shit?" I don't assault people, none of my friends do, and if I did I'd intervene. But I've got a penis so I guess that makes me a violent oppressor that should be avoided in favor of bears?

[–] Smoogs@lemmy.world 0 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

So what attracted you to this topic exactly if you're not violent and found all the answers you need from the right to convince me or anyone you're dealing?

Why did you personalize this post specifically to include you so much that you felt compelled to defend yourself here? Why do you care? How are the right teaching you to be accepting of yourself so well that you're getting tripped up on what you think other people are thinking and how you feel about it?

How are you owning your shit if you're joining a post to blame the left?

What efforts in mental health have you taken?

What steps do you take to help your homosexual brothers stay safe?

They are men too.

Attacking left isn't addressing men's problems so if you're legitimately interested in men's health and safety, attacking the left isn't how you convince me you actually care.

[–] GaMEChld@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Jesus you're a piece of work. Do you actually want me to answer those questions or are you just here to vent your righteous fury at "the patriarchy illuminati?"

I'm here because I'm tired of losing elections because the left is too damned stupid to see basic strategy.

You think your mindless hatred is going to help you at the polls? You are your own worst enemy.

I need not defend myself. I am simply pointing out that this strategy is bad and anyone who is following your lead is tactically stupid. Good luck with that.

It's not my job to manage your emotions, I don't care what you think of what I actually care about.

Your problem is you think me pointing out the left is losing a demographic of voters to poor messaging is attacking the left.

And what answers from the right? What are you even babbling about? When did I say the right had answers?

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?

[–] Smoogs@lemmy.world -1 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] GaMEChld@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

Happily married, but thanks for your contribution.

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 0 points 1 week ago (2 children)

i'm on the left.

and yet all i hear is how everything is my fault. i get told not to rape. and that my penis makes me guilty of the crime of proto-rape. i've never raped anyone, but i've been raped. weird.

i get told how i should contribute to leftist and community causes. i do that. then i get told i'm problematic because i should give up my position for a woman because i am oppressing women by contributing and taking charge when no one else will. then i quit. then they complain how men won't contribute..... weird

i go to college, i get a job, i do well for myself. i get told that i'm a shitheel loser for not making more money, but then if i want to make more money, i'm a greedy selfish right winger... weird

i hear how men should man up and marry women and have families becaues if they odnt' they are man children forever. then i date and try to find women who want a family. they tell me they dont' want families ebcause they'd rather spend all their money on themseles and travel and careers and children are evil... i dont' date those women anymore then get told i'm a selfish asshole for not dating anymore... weird.

it's almost as if i get endless criticism and harassment and zero positive support from the world. i wonder why i want to check out of it entirely. weird.

[–] Smoogs@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Sounds like a lot of outside comparisons you’ve latched onto personalize and abandoned yourself and no longer affirm yourself. There is therapy for this(and some good books out there for it eg: unfuck your brain(they also have a podcast)/the body keeps the score, anything Jay shetty and brene brown I found these quite helpful )

So there are some options. That’s assuming you are willing to get involved in finding solutions for yourself with the problems you are facing.

But jumping into a thread and getting involved only to threat ‘going right’ rather than digging in on this stuff as mental health stuff to address into a working solution….weird.

It’s almost as if people are getting involved in this post to weaponize mens issues/mental health issues and not interested in being part of the solution in addressing these problems … also weird.