this post was submitted on 23 Nov 2025
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Why though? They might get an unusually high tip.
Doesn't mean the encounter will necessarily be particularly pleasant.
Are we weaponizing discomfort again...already?
I wonder what you are referring to as well. Also 'weaponizing discomfort' sounds like something inappropriate while actually discomfort is a real thing and no one has to stand for it (in a certain degree). Not caring at all if you are causing others discomfort is the definition of selfishness. Recompensating somebody with a big tip, because you are a dick doesn't make you less of a prick.
Weaponizing discomfort is toxic because it uses confusion and shame as control, making someone feel small and off balance instead of safe and understood, turning communication into emotional pressure rather than clarity.
Shame is as old as time, but people are always responsible for their own feelings.
Put another way sticks and stone may break my bones, but some people (kratzkopf) will always find some reason to justify being offended.
Sorry, I don't know what you're referring to.
It would be better phrased without ending the sentence with a preposition, such as, "Sorry, I do not know to what you are referring."
Okay, cool, you did understand me though, yeah? Gonna explain what you meant earlier? The feeling of being scolded for something I said and not knowing what is one up with which it's hard to put.
Weaponizing discomfort is toxic because it uses confusion and shame as a form of control. It makes someone feel small and off balance instead of safe and understood, turning communication into emotional pressure rather than clarity.
Shame is as old as time. It is just another way of saying “fall in line.”
Real connection takes far more effort and far more courage. Owning your feelings and your actions is difficult, but it is also infinitely more worthwhile.
And just to reiterate a little more clearly, my whole point is your feelings are on you. I am responsible for my actions and words.
If shame was that valuable, fox news would have had us doing their dirty work long ago.
All I'm hearing is "If my shitty behaviour as a tourist in your country towards people in the service industry makes a person in the service industry feel bad, that's their own fault (also here are some truisms about connection that seem neither here nor there)" and I SERIOUSLY hope that's not what you're saying.
Im saying its weaponized discomfort to not like a tourist because they wearing a hoodie, shoes and shorts. Service staff is there to make money and serve, not shame people for their dress.
Also, I love you. Let's run away together.
You do you.