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All aboard the Dysphoria train (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 day ago by Berengaria_of_Navarre@lemmy.world to c/translater@lemmy.blahaj.zone

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My partner offered to do my makeup today. I was excited both because she's been iffy on the whole transition thing and because she's very good at doing her own makeup and I was excited to get some instruction.

I've always thought I look young for my age and fairly attractive (if you're into mountain men) so I was cautiously optimistic about the results. But when she was done I looked in the mirror and my first thought was: shit, I hope Napoleon comes through that door and puts me out of my misery. I looked like an old french duke or a sad theatre queen in a Christmas pantomime.

Without the makeup I looked around 5 years younger than my age, but with it I looked easily 25 years older. My eyelids especially looked like poorly tanned leather. I know estrogen is amazing for your skin, but Jesus Christ does it have some heavy fucking lifting to do.

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[–] Kayday@lemmy.world 4 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago) (1 children)

AFAB vs AMAB makeup is a different art, so unfortunately it's not surprising that your partner's instincts on where to put highlights / shadows / volume was not to your liking.

I paint miniatures as a hobby, and I've come to realise that most of the principles transfer to makeup. First off, get a set of makeup brushes if you don't already. Some things to note:

know how to properly "load" your brush (after dipping my brush in liquid foundation, I work it in with a few swipes on my hand)
thin coats of foundation are your friend, less is more
add highlights to the center of your face (nose tip, forehead between your brows, eye bags, etc)
if necessary, add shadows/contour to the outside of your face ( sides of chin/jaw, beneath cheek bone)
eyeliner should be applied with your eyes open, unless you're fixing a line toward the end
having some q tips or an old brush to wipe off excess makeup is huge (eyeliner, shadow, lipstick, etc)

Most of the time, foundation looks bad if you can see it. If you are happy with your skin, don't wear it. Make sure you are using a colour that matches your skin tone. Repeating myself because it's important, less is more.

Echoing what others have said, HRT does help a lot with makeup looking more natural. I'd say my skills a year ago were about as good as they are now, but in that time HRT has helped what I do look more "correct" for lack of a better word. Most days I don't feel the need to contour, just using concealer for highlights.

Getting a face of makeup and not liking the end result is horribly dysphoria inducing for me as well, which made practicing really difficult initially. I will say that it gets better with practice. Just like voice training, the light at the end of the tunnel is there. Good luck 🩷🫂

[–] Berengaria_of_Navarre@lemmy.world 2 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago)

That's really helpful, thanks. Weirdly I am not worried about voice training. I have remarkably malleable vocal folds.

Edit: don't get me wrong. My voice is a huge source of dysphoria, I just think I won't have much difficulty(after this damn throat infection subsides). If you're having difficulty, you could just try impersonating someone who's voice you like. It's a lot easier to mimic someone else than make deliberate and distinct changes to your own voice.