this post was submitted on 04 Nov 2025
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UK Politics

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[–] CTDummy@aussie.zone 24 points 1 day ago* (last edited 14 hours ago) (5 children)

I watched a YT video by Dr Angela Collier on Richard Feynman. She drops this incredibly alarming stat that if a partner chokes you, you are 750% more likely to be murdered by that partner. I get that the kink isn’t 1:1 but it does make me wonder if there’s any relation.

Edited to include link to the paper.

[–] mannycalavera@feddit.uk 11 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

What does Feynman have to do with sexual choking? 😅

[–] CTDummy@aussie.zone 1 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Unfortunately, it was a non-sexual, DV kind of choking from my understanding.

[–] moistclump@lemmy.world 3 points 13 hours ago (1 children)
[–] gbzm@piefed.social 25 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

Maybe I'm not fully awake, but I don't understand how that stat could be calculated. How the hell would anyone know the kinks at play in a representative subset of all abusive relationship that have ended in murder?

[–] CTDummy@aussie.zone 8 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

As I mention in another reply the stat refers to abuse not kink play. Likely polled abuse/DV victims and then followed up with them, but that just a guess. I’ll link the study later if I can track it down.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 10 points 21 hours ago

Oh yeah non consensual choking is a "make a plan to get out now" situation.

In kink I'm actually still generally against it, but in a "this is way higher risk profile than a lot of people think" way. Banning it won't help, proper kink educational resources will.

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)

They interview the murder victim.

[–] LadyMeow@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 22 hours ago

A seance, you say? Choked to death, you say?

[–] philophilsaurus@sh.itjust.works 27 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I feel like the context of whether it’s consensual or not is the real factor there. BUT a lot of the edgier kinks can become even more dangerous since people are uncomfortable talking/asking questions, so maybe it’s more complicated.

[–] CTDummy@aussie.zone 10 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Oh yeah for sure, that stat is undoubtedly in the context of argument/non-consent; not a consensual kink dynamic. I wondered if it’s because they don’t want to normalise it due to worrying about it carrying over to circumstances outside consensual sex dynamics. Like an abuser trying to argue it being in a BDSM dynamic when it’s actually an abusive one.

[–] JennyLaFae@lemmy.blahaj.zone 16 points 1 day ago

Way too many people try things they see in porn without doing proper research practice or consents. 50 shades of grey was a terrible time for the bdsm community

[–] Skua@kbin.earth 14 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Research shows strangulation is never a safe practice, despite a widespread belief it can be performed safely. Though it often leaves no visible injury, oxygen deprivation, even for very short moments, causes changes to the fragile structures of the brain.

Multiple studies have specifically shown brain changes in women who have been repeatedly “choked” during sex, including markers for brain damage and disruptions in brain hemispheres linked to depression and anxiety.

To be honest that actually seems like reason enough even if it is genuinely consensual

[–] chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

Though it often leaves no visible injury, oxygen deprivation, even for very short moments, causes changes to the fragile structures of the brain.

Does this also apply to holding your breath?

[–] smoker@lemmy.zip 3 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago)

Strangulation (done (in)correctly) can cut off the blood flow to the brain, which halts oxygen delivery to the tissues. Holding your breath just causes oxygen delivery to the blood to stop. Your body has enough blood and oxygen in it to last for a few minutes without breathing, but only as long as it is circulating to the tissues that require it.

While holding your breath, the ratio of carbon dioxide to oxygen will steadily increase, which will eventually trigger some chemoreceptors and force a reflexive diaphragmatic contraction.

[–] CTDummy@aussie.zone 1 points 14 hours ago

Good to know, thanks for posting!

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 4 points 21 hours ago

If someone dies you're very unlikely that you're getting away with it even if you have firm evidence of consent such as it occurring in a freak accident at a well monitored event. At least that's what the kink educators I've heard from have all said.

[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 2 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

What are your chances of being murdered by your partner anyway? Just say if it's 0.1%, then that makes it 0.75%.

[–] CTDummy@aussie.zone 2 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

I’m not quite sure what it is exactly you’re asking and I don’t want to presume. That aside, your risk of being murdered increasing by that amount is wild and definitely worth knowing. Small percentages only seem small in the macro. It was framed in a manner similar to how another poster in this thread stated. “If you didn’t already know, if this has happened to you, you need to make plans to leave. Now, because your life is literally in danger” sort of thing. Abusers specialise in marginalising the concerns of their partners, especially insofar as their abuse and its consequences for their partners.

[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 5 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Yeah, although there might be more telling signs of abusive behaviour

[–] CTDummy@aussie.zone 1 points 16 hours ago

True there typically is but it’s pretty variable unfortunately.