Transfem
A community for transfeminine people and experiences.
This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.
Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.
- Please follow the rules of the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance.
- Bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated.
- Gatekeeping will not be tolerated.
- Please be kind and respectful to all.
- Please tag NSFW topics.
- No NSFW image posts.
- Please provide content warnings where appropriate.
- Please do not repost bigoted content here.
This community is supportive of DIY HRT. Unsolicited medical advice or caution being given to people on DIY will result in moderator action.
Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.
Some helpful links:
- The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
- Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
- LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
- Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
- TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
- TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
Support Hotlines:
- The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
- TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
- LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
- 988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.
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My teens and 20s were similar. I did have one friend off and on in middle and high school, but more because I tolerated him more than others did than because he cared about me. Things improved later in life once I found an extrovert who was good at gathering people and put a lot of effort into being one of the people who shows up to a lot of her events even when my energy is low. I'm AuDHD, and have a very taxing job so it takes a lot, but it's been well worth it. It also helped that I switched from looking for a partner(s) to looking for friends which might later become partners. Having a partner who isn't a friend but being obligated to spend a majority of time with them was a big problem.
(I eventually transitioned to ethical non monogamy, but that's another subject, but for me it meant finding friends and partners was the same thing essentially. Especially when I abandoned the conditioning of relationship escalators, stopped being envious of partners, and stopped needing to hate partners after breaking up.)
I still have almost no energy for friends during the week, but make sure to plan well in advance and reserve energy or take time off if needed to attend regular events. This still isn't enough social interaction for me, but the stress of the transition stuff and a major promotion at work with tons more responsibility this year has made it all I could handle. Especially after some major relationship drama tied to starting my transition last year.
Anyway, long story...well...it's hard transitioning from school life where you're forced together with people, to work life where positive, lasting bonds are much less likely to happen, but it still takes most of your social energy. So, getting adopted by people who thrive on social gatherings and are good at bringing people together is the way to go, but you have to be reliable to keep getting invited to things. And you aren't likely to create a tight bond with the organizer, that type often isn't good at deep lasting, bonds but the people they gather around them often are seeking those types of bonds.
The advice about sticking to an extroverted person is probably what saved me from sliding into Kiaras situation too badly.
Helped lots with networking and learning social skills. It also helped a lot that they were a really patient and accepting person, so me being me didn't "scare" them off.