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I got harassed by men by the gay bar outside my apartment multiple times in my early twenties, back when I was a guy. They were all pretty minor overall, but it definitely freaked me out at the time. I lived in an apartment complex above a gay bar in downtown. It was a shitty, cheap place where there was no washer or dryer in unit and no fan in the bathroom. Mold was a constant problem.
One time, I was informed I "swish so hard I bring three people with me", a quote that's stuck with me forever, and then a dude stood close by while another guy stroked my face. I had my dog with me so I didn't know what else to do and basically just ran.
Another time I was leaving the pizza shop also in this building complex, and a couple drunk guys out there struck up a conversation that quickly became my chest and crotch getting groped. Honestly less creepy than the face stroking, ngl.
I uh, transitioned since all of that happened though. And some random chick like me saying some drunk guys at the gay bar really wanted to grope me doesn't really carry much weight at this point.
Somehow I don't imagine gay men being the bullies/rapists that I know straight men can be. Good reminder they come in all shapes and sizes. Are these kind of encounters any less common now, post-transition?
Yeah, haven't had any issues since, fortunately.
Yeah umm...I cam hardly remember any crazy women, but I got so much of it from men...as a man.
Forests and bears seem really tempting, I literally did research on how much it would cost.
Not everyone born with a penis is a bully/rapist. Please stop perpetuating this idea.
That's going to be easy, because I didn't even start
You're right, but it's also like a 9:1 ratio between penis-havers and vagina-havers doing the violence and the raping. 🤷♂️
Both statements can be true at the same time: The vast majority of men aren't rapists, and the vast majority of rapists are men. That is, unfortunately, how statistics work.
That's really quite shocking!
Is it? Are you queer? A butch lesbian just touched me in a gay bar cause she had one too many
So, now you are girl? But you weren't before?
Yeah, pretty much. I know different trans people think about themselves pre-transition differently, but that's how I see it for myself
Let's ask this a different way, you were a biological male, are you still a biological male?
I just don't really care tbh. I know my chromosomes haven't changed, I'm fully sterile, and at this point the nature of my biology only really effects my doctors. I'm under no delusion that I can one day give birth or anything, if that's what you're driving at?
So, Im sorry, for my own understanding, are you sterilized from drug treatment?
Come on now... I know that cant be true. Friend, be true to yourself. This world can be truly backwards, dont Listening to the judgemental voices that say you need to be something different. I promise you, be your tru r self and you will be happy. Dont listen to the voices that say you are wrong a nd need to change!.... focus... get centered. Love
Oh no, I've had surgery. I don't have a penis or testicles any more.
And thank you, but don't worry. I'm pretty secure in my identity at this point. I'm much happier in my skin than I ever was before. I just meant like, I'm running on estrogen now, I have a body I can feel comfortable in, and so I don't know that it really matters in a practical sense what chromosomes I have or whether I'm "technically male" or something.
Its wild stuff. Thank you for indulging me. I hope i could ask a couple more questions? Like, how long ago now did you get bottom surgery (I just started learning terms like that). And, not trying to dox you, but what decade of your life did you get it done? Like over 20? Under 20? Over 30, or 40? Just in general not specific. Im glad your comfortable and doing ok. Ive watched some videos of people "detransitioning" the last couple days and I feel very sorry for some of these folks, and I was watching one person yesterday that had had bottom surgery, but then later realized its not something they should have done. So yours sounded like a similar situation at least, except the regret part. Anyway, thanks again friend.
Oh sure, I don't mind sharing.
I got bottom surgery around fiveish years ago, I was thirty. I started my transition mid twenties though, so I was pretty well established by that point.
Detransition stories are really sad, but fortunately it's pretty rare that someone transitioned when they shouldn't. Something like 9% of people detransition at some point, but many of those are due to societal pressures, and a lot of those people actually retransition later. The actual rate of regret over transition is something like 0.4%, and the overwhelming majority of trans people find it makes their life better.
Look, I dont mean to upset anyone, what i said is true, its not hateful at all, just medical truth... dont freak out because I said "no man had ever had a baby"... im sorry if that sound hateful to you
sex != gender
Be nice. Last and only warning.
People who understand medical science don't use the term "medical truth."
People who understand medicine know the difference between sex and gender.
You said way more than "no man had ever had a baby." Which is also not entirely true, trans men have gotten pregnant.
If you're trying to say "no male human has ever gotten pregnant" well, that's a bit fuzzy, too, if you consider everyone with an XY chromosome "male."
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2190741/
Yeah... trans men. Meaning, people that were born female. No one born male has ever been impregnated, no womb. No one born female has ever impregnated someone, no testicles. And im trying to be polite, try not to be offended but imo, that is the most crucial part, that means no has ever actually changed gender, imo. Anyone can have surgery and change their appearance, or take drugs to change how they feel, but does that really mean someone has changed changed sex? To me, not in the most defining way it hasn't. I really hope im not missing off anyone too much. Im been as nice and cordial but plainly about my opinion. And thats all this is, my opinion.
I'm not offended. I'm disagreeing because your opinion is public.
Unfortunately, you're still conflating sex with gender. Gender is performative while sex is biological, and neither are dichotomous or fixed. That's not my opinion, that is the modern, scientific understanding.
You focused on one point in my reply and ignored the rest. You said men don't get pregnant, but"man" is a gender, not a sex. People taxonomically called men have gotten pregnant, so that's incorrect.
The paper I linked was about genetic males getting pregnant, to prove that both men and genetic males can get pregnant. I have more peer reviewed research and on changing both sex and gender, if you're interested.
Are you open reading more on the subject and amending your opinion, or are you more interested in being right and holding onto your views? If it's the latter, there isn't a point to this conversation. A conversation which started when you told a trans person they can't change gender.
Yeah, and im going to stick to the one point for clarity. Since apparently you dont understand, or something, let me rephrase.
No person born a biological male with testies has ever been surgercally/chemically altered (meaning a womb transplant basically) enough to be able to be impregnated and give birth... this is a complex subject for in someways, but also, its very cut and dry.
A person is always born with 1 sex more developed than the other, basically testies or ovaries. But human biology isnt black or white exactly. Anyway... my main point is, no one has ever actually achieved a truly sex change. Gender is more fluid and subjective... supposedly... amyway...
I can only argue with what you say. Since you used "man" and "male" interchangeably, my comment reflects that.
This is called moving the goalposts, since your original comment in this thread was arguing with someone who said they'd changed genders. Now you seem to agree someone can change genders, so I donno why we're still arguing.
You said men couldn't get pregnant, which is false. Then you said males couldn't get pregnant, which is also false. Now you're making this extremely specific claim:
Which is a lot to unpack, and also incorrect. If we assume a "biological male with testes" is someone with XY chromosomes and gonads, yes, they have given birth. Look up XY Gonadal Dysgenesis, and you'll find a small percentage of cases where women who are genetically male, occassionally with internal testes, who undergo hormone treatments and IVF to get pregnant. Some don't have ovaries and have never menstruated.
Is an ambiguous statement, and also not true. It really depends on how you define "developed" since sex traits aren't always obvious in babies and a number of natural factors can drastically change those traits during puberty, even before taking into account medical intervention. Check out Guevadoces for one example.
Why is it so important for you to be right? Shouldn't it be kind of exciting that this sort of thing can happen?
Okok its whatever, I didn't use the right vernacular and verbiage on accident. It feels like a Lotta splitting hairs, double meaning, and yall changed the meaning of what it is to be a man even... but thats besides the point. I didn't get my point across as well as I would have liked to, but im gonna sharpen up for next time I have a conversation like this, on this subject. But im done for now. God bless you
Fair enough and thank you for being civil. I responded to your claims by giving examples to back up my point, being specific because we're discussing definitions.
I'm a cis woman and I didn't change anything. Gender has always been a shifting social construct and our understanding of sex has benefitted from research, as has my own understanding of sex over the years.
Have a good one and I wish you luck. Please do check out pubmed (the earlier link I shared,) it has a lot of fantastic, accessible, peer reviewed research papers.