this post was submitted on 25 Oct 2025
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[seeking input from people who use female restrooms]

Hello! I have been using women's restrooms for some time now. Tonight however, will be the first time that I will be going out with some girlfriends where public toilets will be involved. Everyone I am going with knows that I am trans, and is supportive. My questions/concerns are:

  • If I get up to use the bathroom, should I ask anyone if they would like to come with?
  • If another woman gets up, should I offer to go with?
  • If we are using the restroom at the same time, and I finish first, should I wait for them? If so, inside, or outside?

I'm mostly just wanting to act "normal," and don't want to unknowingly perform any social faux pas. Thanks!

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[–] irotsoma@piefed.blahaj.zone 2 points 3 days ago

In my experience it's a safety issue kind of thing. If you're in a place with restrooms that are shady and there are a lot of shady people, like dive bars or less high end clubs, then usually use the buddy system. Even if you don't need to use the restroom if someone says they're going, then go with them. You can always tweak makeup and hair until they're done. That's how I usually do it. Not quite as necessary in higher end clubs with good security or where the restrooms are individual ones so you'd have to wait outside anyway, like in many independent restaurants, it's not as convenient. Anyway, more of a safety issue than social in my experience.