this post was submitted on 31 Oct 2025
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Help Others
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Sorry I ended up passing out in a heap of exhaustion last night. The original goal on the ko-fi thing I had just never updated from last month when I was asking for help. That being said, it was still over the goal. I moved it last night to what it should have been and then passed out before commenting to you.
Well, a new cpap is $1700, rent is $700 and $900ish was raised (still floored). So another $1500 for a cpap and like... no. I'll suffer with the shitty one I have that works occasionally. That at least works and isn't a major risk. Filters I also have a lot of. There was a dude in Toronto who gave me a box of them years ago that they get for stock. Like... hundreds of filters. I've still got about 100 left. Luckily distilled water is also really easy to get here. In Toronto it was bought up fucking instantly by everyone and I could never find any. I had to get a distiller myself but breathing in metal tasting water is icky.
Thank you though. Seriously. To you and everyone else. I'm running out of ways to say it because I'm just... stunned. Confused. I don't know. But deeply, deeply, deeply thankful
I get that you don't want to feel like you're abusing peoples' good will, but not having good quality sleep is going to make many things harder.
I also notice that you're just asking for rent help, and I remember seeing a post from you a while back mentioning dumpster diving for food. Do you have a reliable and safe source of food? Lack of that isn't good either, not that it really needs to be said.
Also, if you'll pardon me stepping onto a soapbox for a moment: I know we're a weird disparate community of pseudonymous nerds online, but this sort of thing is what communities are meant for. Being able to help spread out both the abundances and the lack of things (hard to find the right words for what I mean here) over a larger group so that everyone makes it through.
I have strong feelings that there has been concentrated efforts over generations to push people towards being more isolated, so that when hard times come they don't look to their neighbors and community members, but instead to whatever central controlling authority is in their area. And that authority should provide for the people under it, but it furthers the control it has over them.
Point is, small scale redistribution of wealth/supplies/etc within a community is in my opinion a big part of what community is for, and a key to humanity making it so damn far.
Eh. The machine works well enough. Sometimes it gets weird. I think it's probably more of a problem with me needing to see a sleep doc and being unable to at the moment. Besides, this is fucking expensive. $1,775 for that is... nutty. Now, granted, that is the whole package machine with the mask and stuff and you could get one for just the machine for a bit cheaper but my mask and hose and shit need replacing anyway. Something I will get to eventually when it is an absolute emergency but for right now it's whatever. That is a lot of dollarydoos, even if they're Canadian dollarydoos. As for food, I'll be fine. I'm not super worried about that. I've got a friend I definitely do not deserve and food banks exist. I feel bad taking her help as often as I have but yeah. I just feel bad for a lot.
I'm with you on the push for isolation. Even as a teenager like 20 years ago (fuck) I can remember there being a ton of places that required no payment in order to get in. Places where kids could play video games or little water parks or open swimming pools or whatever else. Now everything is locked behind payment and kids can't pay that shit without the parents but everything is being nickel and dimed. Now there's barely anything.
I just have a hard time taking it myself. Internal trauma from a not so great childhood and therapy is not easy to afford or get in Canada. I'm definitely one of those types who keeps thinking that whenever their abuser passes away they'll feel better but probably won't. Something I'm working on. Just not easy to do.