this post was submitted on 31 Oct 2025
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Do that many of you really play in these antagonistic as fuck groups? I see so many memes that imply a very a hostile dynamic between DM and players. I think you might need to find a better group if that's the general atmosphere.
Not really, at least, not anymore.
There are some people that come to RPGs to escape reality and man, do they need it. D&D holds out a promise of agency, power, and control, in a fantasy setting free from real consequences. Provided a player lacks these things in real life, they can cling to it like a life-preserver. Then, take any of that away - as a DM must do - and things can get ugly.
I really want to say that there's a known and practiced way to get people like this some real help, like a free hotline or website. After all, if it's going to come up, this is the place it's going to happen. Sadly, I know of no such resource.
Yeah, that makes sense. Those people would really hate my games because I've switched to call of cthulhu lately and in that game you are absolutely not powerful 😅
A fuckton of people these days play D&D as a pick-up game with randos off Discord or Roll20 and not actually in person with people they know.
I guess that makes sense. To be honest for me it's such a social experience who I'm playing with is the biggest thing I care about.
I know online rpg changed a lot in 20 years, but when I was playing online around 2010, playing on teamspeak, also meant be part of community, and ask others GM about new players before having them joining your table (No show, cheating and other bad behaviour would quickly be known by everyone) . Moreover, because you don't know them, it's easy to kick them out.
so the jerk ratio is higher? genuine query, only played with friends irl
Much more so. Because the people that aren't shitlords wind up finding and staying in a stable group, while the people who can't maintain human relationships get perpetually booted back into the rando pool, so it becomes more and more concentrated awfulness all the time.
ew. ty for the deets
I have a feeling that people who spend their time posting memes about shitty relations between players and DMs probably aren't actually playing that much.
Also, like, every social media platform seems to thrive on conflict, so there's probably a relationship between spending loads of time engaging with those platforms and having a shitty attitude in general.
D&D is like sex, in the sense that "no D&D is better than bad D&D"
I find that the people who play in groups like this are people who haven't been able to find a better group, but haven't realised how antagonistic groups kill the joy of the game
I would agree with that. I'd rather not play than play in a bad group (or a group that doesn't play the style I enjoy)