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Pre transition, in a small country town, decades before transition care is available... My child, unborn, and the only way to bring them in to the world is to suck up the dysphoria for decades (again) and not transition until late in life, and then re-marry someone that I had a really toxic relationship with. And my younger brother would be about to come in to the last years of his life as his mental health declines, before he takes his own life.

I honestly don't know that I could go through all of that again.