Direct Donations

I hate that I have to make this post, but every other effort to resolve this problem has failed and we are out of time.

I am living in Japan with my three-year-old son. We have been living apart from my Japanese wife, his mother, for almost two years because of domestic violence. Very long and terrible story short, the authorities in Japan will not help us because I am a foreigner and she is absolutely unapologetic to the point of denying anything even happened and accusing me of abuse for protecting him. Apart from a few temporary jobs, I am also unable to find any work despite many places saying that they are hiring. So I cannot support us anymore. Add to that, my wife will not provide any child support and now doesn't communicate with me at all. Before, for the last 18 months, she has been sending me a nonstop barrage of threatening messages before going completely silent. Despite this and the abuse, she expect to retain custody of him and is just waiting for me to fail. The authorities are not helping her, but they aren't doing anything about her behavior or her actually illegal actions against us. All of these things put together, it has become impossible for us to live in peace here, and when I'm broke she would likely be given sole custody of my son by default and I would probably get deported or jailed for daring to oppose her.

Which brings me to the second problem: America. Both me and my son are registered American citizens with valid passports. But unless you've been living under a rock, you already know why taking a half-Japanese child who was born in Japan to a country that is actively disappearing non-white birthright citizens and has a history of separating children from their families for no actual reason is just as bad an idea as staying here.

The plan right now is to somehow fly us both to Ireland and request asylum. I tried requesting asylum through the Irish Embassy in Japan, but it is not allowed. We have just about one more week in which to leave before other complications such as bills and my visa requiring renewal actually make it impossible for me to simply leave the country with my son without raising alarms.

I am selling everything that we can't take with us, but I don't have anywhere near the amount needed even to just buy one-way tickets, to say nothing of other expenses like travel to the airport and food along the way. If there is any way the people here can help out, even partially, I would be eternally grateful. I never in my life thought that something like this would happen and I am running myself ragged trying to digitize documents and get everything ready. Not to mention rolling anxiety attacks because of the very real possibility that my son, who has survived multiple instances of abuse could be given back to his abusers who show no remorse for what they've done to us.

Sorry to be so dower, I have spent the past few months fighting a losing battle with one thing failing after another and no one having the slightest idea how to help me or even just enable me to solve our situation on my own.

~~### How to help:~~

• ~~Western Union or MoneyGram: This will give me the money directly and immediately, please try to send help using this method. PM me and I will give you the necessary contact information.~~
• ~~PayPal: https://www.paypal.me/AeronMelon, Notice: I cannot withdrawal from PayPal directly due to some unknown error with both of my Japanese banks. I am looking for someone to help me transfer the money, but until then please don't send to my PayPal unless it's impossible for you use a wire transfer service.~~

(Because this is a one-off emergency, if you would rather your donation be a loan I will absolutely pay you back just as soon as I'm back on my feet. Just message me with a way to contact you in the indeterminate future and I will.)

Also, if anyone reading this happens to be from Ireland or know someone in Ireland and can provide any kind of assistance with an affordable place to stay or a job in the education sector, that would be extremely helpful.

UPDATE 22 OCTOBER:
I now have enough money to take care all travel to the airport and food and other necessities for the journey, thank you very much. I have also been getting a lot of useful information about my trip and Ireland itself, thank you again. I still need to get most of the money for the actual tickets. Prices are fluctuating wildly, but right now, it's possible to get a ticket for both of us for a little over ¥110,000 (~$725 USD, ~€625 EUR) so I want to be able to buy it before prices change again. Realistically, we have until the weekend to leave, so we're hoping as hard as we can.

UPDATE 26 OCTOBER:
We successfully made it out of Japan and are now in South Korea. Thank you, everyone who has already helped! It actually felt like we were going to be held up by some random technicality a couple of times, but it somehow worked out. I think splitting the trip and going to South Korea first went a long way to making it easier for them to accept it. Now that the hard part is over, the expensive part is remains. Another reason for splitting the trip is that our realistic window for leaving was almost gone and we still didn't have enough money. This got us out of Japan and buys us about half a week's time with the money that currently remains.

Our destination is still Ireland. Our options in South Korea are just as limited as they were in Japan, so we are still aiming for our intended destination. Thankfully, the cost to get there from here is notably less. Buying a ticket from Japan to South Korea, then another ticket from South Korea to Ireland is actually not much more expensive than a single ticket due all the connections involved (one of them often being South Korea). I'm going to start asking around for discounted rates (like a standby ticket) with the airlines at Incheon. If you can spare any amount to help us out, please do so in the next couple of days. We absolutely needed to leave when we did, but once that happened a very short countdown clock started ticking.

UPDATE 2 NOVEMBER:
Thank you to everyone who helped us out, financially and emotionally and with vital information.We made it to Ireland on 30 October. A week after this ordeal started, and we are both still very exhausted and in a bit of daze. I'll try to type coherently.

We have been treated with nothing but kindness since we arrived. Well, I think I made the Immigration agent at customs a bit upset because once I requested asylum he thought I was lying about our reason for visiting (trying to enter the country as a tourist and looking around before making a final decision to request asylum). I had almost no issues crossing every other border, even when Germany asked me where the mother was, but the young guy in Ireland was trying to impress the boss or something. He just kept digging and digging and the lack of sleep we had in order to make our connecting flights made it difficult for me to answer his questions quickly and confidently and that made him suspicious. But everyone else there was very nice and actually understanding when I gave up trying to enter the country legitimately and just asked for asylum right there at the border. Despite the Irish government's own website instructing me to go to the Irish Consular's office at the airport after crossing into Ireland, my request was accepted at customs without argument.

Since then we have simply been trying to regain our composure. My son was physically and mentally over taxed and he's still taking long naps to make up for this past week of non-stop travel and unfamiliar environments. The last couple of months of his mental development have kind of reverted, and I've been told by doctors here that was to be expected for such a sudden change in location and living conditions. Like it or not, he's probably going to have to undergo psychiatric treatment for the abuse he suffered since it's been aggravated by the move. He was alternating between sleeping and being in a catatonic state while awake until just yesterday. (Extra special thanks to the Irish Lemming who provided us with a great deal of important information AND spent the afternoon with us after we arrived which allowed him to play with other kids for the first time in a long while, he really needed that and he was smiling for the first time since we left Japan!)

The paperwork isn't finished yet, but we have both been given permission to live in Ireland and are set to get a more permanent place to stay as well as an allowance for necessities and other benefits. Try as I did, we could not have done it without your help. I seriously don't know what to say. For years, we have been rejected and ignored by individuals and groups in Japan and I had forgotten what genuine kindness felt like. I wish I didn't have to ask for your help, but I'm glad I did. Even if you just sent supportive words, you all are amazing people. I had all but given up believing that such people existed anymore.

We don't need anymore donations right now. Ireland is weird to me, financially. Some things are just as expensive as Japan, other things are so much cheaper I think it's some kind of mistake. I have no idea how much support we're going to get as refugees, but all of our critical needs are clearly going to be met. And with luck, I can start working again soon.

I am going to make a new post later about asking for help to rebuild my son's lost collection of toys, books, etc. and to expand and replace his wardrobe. I just have to fix my PayPal first. And it will be a completely optional thing that won't be any kind of emergency or dangerous situation for us. If you would like to help my son get his old life back faster, thank you very much. (And pour one out for the large collection of rare Japanese music albums I had to leave behind. No amount of money will get all of that back.) T_T