this post was submitted on 19 Oct 2025
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This is the Just World Fallacy. Saying "You can't get laid because you have a bad attitude" isn't any different from saying "The reason why you're homeless is because of your bad attitude."
Okay. Does that help at all? Abso-fucking-lutely not.
I disagree that it's unhelpful. I'll agree that it's not an easy thing like "just smile more, you'll get laid!" But step 1 for any incel to actually get laid would be to stop being a fucking incel and recognize that no one owes them sex, affection, or even a moment of their time to hear them out or explain why they won't.
If you choose to wallow in something, whether it be inceldom or depression, you're going to find it very difficult or impossible to come out of that.
Incels sound like a toxic cult, and I'm not sure how much you can blame people for getting indoctrinated into a cult.
Depression is a disease which is treated with medication and therapy, so I don't see that as similar at all.
What I find interesting is that most people try to counter this with "Just do this, and then maybe you'll get laid", instead of pointing out how self-centered the entire concept is in the first place.
No, that is not step 1 for actually getting laid, because there is no step 1 for that. Some people are doomed to be alone and miserable, and for some of them, that's never going to change. That's just how it is. I wish we'd built a better society which actually takes care of people, but that isn't the one we live in. I just do my best to try to make things better.
What we really need is legalized sex work, but there'd have to be protections for the workers so they wouldn't have to worry about being abused by their clientele. Legalized sex work with strong sex workers' unions would be ideal.