this post was submitted on 19 Oct 2025
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I like when those religious nutjobs come by, I have so much fun with it. I aggressively offer them alcohol (like pour shots and crack beers and put it in front of them) which is usually a hoot with the religious types that go door to door. They usually come in twos, so it's fun to create personal drama in your head about them and then just declare it openly to them. (I am surprised they let you work so closely with Matt, with you know... The temptations and allπ).
I used to even have props for some gags... But for some reason I haven't seen them in a year or more. It's a game of if I can make them uncomfortable enough to abandon the mission... I always feign some interest.
At least for the mormons and jehovah's witnesses, the point of them going door-to-door isn't to convert you. It's to solidify in their minds that the 'other' is hateful and vile. Your shenanigans are funny, but just building another wall for another pair of fools for their little prison designed by the people at the top.
Instead of being offensive, I attempt to deprogram or at least place doubt in their minds. They can talk about their religion as long as I can talk about science and morality. Sadly, I can never get them to come back for a second visit (even if they commit to an appointment time).
I just tell them I'm not interested politely and then they leave. why are you going so hard?
no need to be a disrespectful ass. even if you hate religion.
Did that for about 5 years, didn't work. If anything they came even more often.
I don't mind the conversation for a bit and my comment probably alludes to me being ruder than I actually am. But after a half a hour if they can't take a hint or even a direct declaration... Then you got to find some other way to get them to leave.
I just gently close the door in that case. after saying no thank you.
Imagine trying to convert people and you run into fucking Carrot Top.
Found the inspiration for that movie Heretic.