Buttcoin

It is not a difficult task to find a metaphor for the Bitcoin phenomenon in the realm of opera. The term “darknet” and the concept of a virtual currency, such as Bitcoin, easily relates to the saga of Richard Wagner’s Ring—a series of four operas composed in the late 19th century but very much alive today.

In the first opera in the series, although the last to be composed, Das Rheingold features the dwarf, Alberich, in the opening scenes, residing in the dark depths of the Rhine River where he notices a quantity of gold near his habitat and eventually decides to steal it and fasten it into a gold ring which, along with his renunciation of love, will give him super powers.

Shortly after, the three Rhinemaidens swimming in the Rhine River, appear, notice the gold, and embark on a series of flirtations or teasing with Alberich. As the opera progresses, the gold may be found in some bricks used to build a castle for certain giants, and this becomes the basic substance for the construction of Valhalla, a magnificent castle for the gods, which in Götterdämmerung, the last opera, is destroyed in flames. Such may be the ultimate finale for Bitcoin.

In real life, we know that gold is very valuable—viz, the “gold standard.” In the Ring operas, however, although gold is discussed, it is never actually seen or turned into real money. Thus, it is just as “virtual” as Bitcoin. However, this Court must reject the alleged values of Bitcoin on which the Defense arguments heavily rely, as unsubstantiated by any real-life transactions.

Indeed, the great quantities of Bitcoin have neither been seen, touched, or held. No one knows for sure what will be the outcome of adventures in Bitcoin as it is not a currency backed by gold or guaranteed by any sovereign nation, and it may someday go up in flames just as Valhalla in Wagner’s opera.

Epic.