this post was submitted on 08 Oct 2025
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I bet this sounds like a stupid question - especially coming from a man. However, NoStupidQuestions doesn’t allow NSFW topics, so here I am - bear with me.

I genuinely don’t know what this feels like from the inside. I see so many men go to extreme lengths to chase women - sometimes even risking their careers or relationships just to get laid. Some are literally willing to pay for it. I don’t get it. What does that pull actually feel like?

I’m not judging - I’m trying to understand. I only know what it looks like from the outside, but I have no idea what it’s like on the inside. I’ve had sex multiple times, and it’s fine, but it seems vastly overrated to me. Clearly, I’m not getting out of it what most other men are, so I’m trying to understand the baseline experience.

My motivation for asking is that I’m working on myself and hoping that, eventually, I’ll be able to feel even a fraction of that same pull. However, with things like lifting weights, I at least have a clear image in mind of what I’m working toward - but it’s harder to define that when it comes to subjective experiences.

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[–] usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca 37 points 3 days ago (3 children)

A deep and primal yearning that crashes over you in waves. A thorn in your psyche; always a subtle throbbing but impossible to ignore once anything diverts your attention to it. Constant intrusive thoughts, loneliness, frustration, panic, desperation, aggression.

Other people are saying its akin to hunger, but I'd say it's more like thirst. There's a stronger sense of urgency and a subtle feeling that's always present and ready to bubble up to the surface at any moment to override everything else.

[–] ValarieLenin@midwest.social 17 points 3 days ago (1 children)

If only rubbing one's belly could rid hunger like the rubbing of one's genitalia removes lust....

[–] tankfox@midwest.social 8 points 3 days ago

It doesn't really though, rubbing one is the equivalent of a really weak Pho; no matter how good it was in the moment you'll be starving by dinner, like eat-your-napkin starving to death.

[–] Hadriscus@jlai.lu 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Wow, I am impressed by the accuracy and the sensibility of your description. I have little to add

[–] Frozengyro@lemmy.world 10 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Also why they call desperate people thirsty

[–] Hadriscus@jlai.lu 1 points 3 days ago

I haven't read that

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 3 days ago

Y'know, maybe I've just never been that thirsty.