this post was submitted on 06 Oct 2025
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I work in a hospital (not a nurse or medical staff) and you'd be fucking appalled by how common this is.
Serious illnesses can be horrifying to watch someone go through and poverty routinely seperates loved ones.
Standing by someone in a terrible - perhaps terminal - condition is absolutely an incredible challenge and shouldn't be dismissed as anything less than that.
A big reason you want to stand by your partner in perilous circumstances is because you want them to be there for you. And another big reason is because you might not get any more moments together than this, so make them last.
In a place like America, where sick days are a luxury and health care can still bankrupt you, being at someone's bedside is a cross to bare. Be happy when you're not carrying it. Don't be so quick to judge when someone else can't.
I literally was a caregiver for ten years (full time six of those years). My wife recently died. I was astonished by the number of people who told me to leave her. wtf is wrong with people. You don’t abandon people who are suffering.
That, Idfk. One thing to collapse under the pressure. Another thing to get up in someone's business and say something so vile.
Damn. You're a strong person. I'm sorry you had to go through that, but I'm sure you staying by her side made those years more beareble for her. I'd like to think I'd do the same, but I hope I never have to find out...
Eh, I was just doing what I had to do for the person I loved. But thank you. I hope you don’t have to find out either. It is really cursed knowledge
I mean depending on your situation that could be the best option. Option one, stay with your partner, watch them die and experience that trauma, then when they are dead you're on the hook for all their medical debt, and you may have lost your job for taking so many days off. Option two, leave your partner, live with the guilt of that, avoid the trauma and inescapable life long debt. Neither option is good. It would be nice to have the time off and not be burdened with an enormous amount of debt but that's just not the world we live in.
It would have been objective the better idea for me to abandon my wife with this logic. Because caring for her was hard and definitely shortened my life and left me heartbroken.
But the logic is vile. You do not abandon your loved ones when they are in need
Love and respect are not like columns in a fucking spreadsheet.
That's pretty gross, dude.