this post was submitted on 01 Oct 2025
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Open ones like the fox does I imagine are.
Closed ones are much simpler. It's like monogamy but with 2 or 3 more people.
That's how I used to roll. A close relationship with any person comes with a certain amount of inherent drama. Adding more people increases that drama, typically somewhat linearly, but it can be exponentially if everyone is involved with each other. Closed is much more predictable. Someone like me can't handle open, I'm not emotionally resilient enough.
I mean, in my opinion a loving relationship of any kind shouldn't be tiring, whether it's monogamous or not. The way you're putting it, it sounds like the effort you put into your monogamous relationships is tiring to you, hence why you see more people in one being even more tiring. I don't exactly feel like I'm "trying" to make my partners happy - I'm just happy to make them happy. It doesn't drain me to love my partners, and I'm not sure it would drain anyone, monogamy or not. If it does, perhaps you might want to consider some introspection.
I've been in monogamous relationships too. Was monogamous most of my life. They didn't feel tiring either. I'm probably older than you if anything, and none of my relationships have ever felt tiring but one - and that was the worst one I ever had, because they were not a mentally healthy person at the time. It was not a healthy (monogamous) relationship, and that's why I said if your relationship is feeling tiring, perhaps you should have some introspection.
I was never trying to convince you of being poly, because it's not something you really choose as much as you are born like; you're the one who assumed something about it and felt the need to comment on it. My only guess is that such assumption comes from your own experiences.