this post was submitted on 01 Oct 2025
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Poly relationships just sound exhausting.
I have recently found myself in one, but like... Not in the whole thing? I'm just as confused as the cat mom. I am seeing a dude who is in a poly relationship, but I only see him. He has so many other boyfriends that the guy literally schedules every hangout to try and give everyone equal time and attention.
Which I kinda love about him.
Are you dating Rentaro?
Possibly. Except the yaoi version.
I couldn't imagine juggling multiple relationships, let alone one.
Too much work. If I want to disappoint a lot of people I’ll just go to a family reunion.
Are we in Alabama?
It can be, but shared calendars make things soooooo much easier
Open ones like the fox does I imagine are.
Closed ones are much simpler. It's like monogamy but with 2 or 3 more people.
That's how I used to roll. A close relationship with any person comes with a certain amount of inherent drama. Adding more people increases that drama, typically somewhat linearly, but it can be exponentially if everyone is involved with each other. Closed is much more predictable. Someone like me can't handle open, I'm not emotionally resilient enough.
I mean, in my opinion a loving relationship of any kind shouldn't be tiring, whether it's monogamous or not. The way you're putting it, it sounds like the effort you put into your monogamous relationships is tiring to you, hence why you see more people in one being even more tiring. I don't exactly feel like I'm "trying" to make my partners happy - I'm just happy to make them happy. It doesn't drain me to love my partners, and I'm not sure it would drain anyone, monogamy or not. If it does, perhaps you might want to consider some introspection.
I've been in monogamous relationships too. Was monogamous most of my life. They didn't feel tiring either. I'm probably older than you if anything, and none of my relationships have ever felt tiring but one - and that was the worst one I ever had, because they were not a mentally healthy person at the time. It was not a healthy (monogamous) relationship, and that's why I said if your relationship is feeling tiring, perhaps you should have some introspection.
I was never trying to convince you of being poly, because it's not something you really choose as much as you are born like; you're the one who assumed something about it and felt the need to comment on it. My only guess is that such assumption comes from your own experiences.
Honestly, the biggest thing is open communication and planning.
Sounds exhausting
Do you not... already openly communicate and plan things with your partner????
In this scenario, you only communicate with one other person, while the other person communicates with several others. Maintaining this kind of relationship sounds exhausting.
One partner. Not 7.
"relationships" bro that's a group chat 💀
In my experience, which is limited, it's not as hard in practice. Especially if you're just involved in the relationship and not trying to actively coordinate it, you just kinda do whatever as time allows.
Yeah I've been poly for the better part of a decade and yeah there are those people, and you hear about what's going on with them a lot because there's always so much going on. Meanwhile there are plenty of us who are generally in stable situations though we may have occasional flings when the mood and energy strike.
Mine's fine. My partner is also dating someone else and that person is awesome. Sometimes my partner is gone for a weekend, which means I get the whole condo to myself, can take up the whole dining table with my hobby mess, and can order delivery food that would give him heartburn (instead of ordering from someplace he can also order from).
Sometimes his girlfriend visits us, which is a great impetus to clean the condo. She's also a great cook ☺️
I can definitely see it being more exciting than exhausting, but to each their own.
Imagine having multiple people texting you to pick up some milk on the way home.