One of the many reasons I have permanently sworn off any sort of romantic entanglement with anyone. I will die alone. Not everyone gets to be happy anyway so meh, I'm just accepting it early.

[–] BussyCat@lemmy.world 15 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

What? How is adhd any possible reason to swear off all romantic entanglement? Like adhd can make dating harder to stay interested and it can mean you need to find someone who is okay with the fact that you have ADHD so you aren’t constantly trying to mask it but that still leaves a very sizable portion of the population.

The way you phrased that comes off to me as “the only food near me is a banana that I would have to get up and peel before I could eat it so I guess I’ll just starve to death not everyone deserves to eat”

[–] Stamets@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Sorry, my comment was very unclear if that's how you're taking that.

When I said one of the many reasons I meant that I have a literal laundry list of reasons that I've permanently sworn off romantic entanglements so that I don't cause emotional grief for other people as well as causing the emotional grief for myself. Like I don't want to get into a relationship because I have so much baggage that I'm having a difficulty dealing with on my own. I don't want to put that on someone else.

The ADHD portion is just that I am dealing with my ADHD very badly. If I'm dealing with it that badly on the surface then it will only compound further issues down the line for me.

I was speaking from a personal perspective, not as a universal truth or that it applies to anyone else but me. Genuinely sorry it came off other than how I intended.

[–] BussyCat@lemmy.world 9 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Romantic relationships aren’t for everyone such as people who are aromantic but if you crave romantic relationships and are only holding them off because you might give others grief then you should seek therapy. I don’t mean that in a “you are crazy talk to a therapist way” but in a hopefully you can talk through that laundry list with a professional and they can give you insight on how to proceed.

You shouldn’t tiptoe through life saying “I don’t deserve happiness” because we all do and a mental health professional can hopefully help show you how for your specific situation

[–] Stamets@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

If therapy were an option, I would have taken it by now. Unfortunately, such things are not available to me. At least, not therapists that are willing to take me on. Primarily due to the fact that I have had therapists in the past openly say that they are not qualified to handle my case. So I've just given up. Some people just aren't meant to be happy. So now I guide others to a treasure I may never possess.

Anyway, time for WILTY and sleep. Have a good night.

[–] Madzielle@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 7 hours ago

It took me 4 years and 6 therapists to find the right one. My therapist has adhd, I love her.

Take a break, but don't give up on helping yourself