this post was submitted on 28 Sep 2025
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should I do diy? (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) by wintervoid@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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I've been getting more comfortable with the idea of starting hrt. The 2 main reasons I havent yet are the current US politics and also I'm not ready for my parents to know about that yet and as far as I am aware they would know because I'm on their insurance and it would be in the bill. Diy avoids both of those things though. The one thing idk about is actually paying for it. I'm in college rn and while I did make a good amount of money over the summer, spending $20 per month or however much it is doesn't really sound great but because it is something I genuinely need im not sure and I just want to avoid going through my parents and the medical system

Edit: Also realized I should mention that I am an adult because that's probably important with informed consent stuff

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[โ€“] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

Personally I would talk to your parents, they support your queer sister and you have already come out to them as trans and they support you with your name change - you need the medical support, so talk to them. If that doesn't go well, then looking into DIY becomes more necessary - but don't start with DIY when you have a much better and safer alternative right in front of you.

It's scary, but many aspects of transition are scary, unfortunately.

One way to deal with the fear is to organize yourself, do lots of research, and then present your parents with an educated and reasonable argument. Preparation is one way to deal with anxiety and fear, basically.

To help, here is a literature review that summarizes the clinical outcomes of gender affirming care:

https://whatweknow.inequality.cornell.edu/topics/lgbt-equality/what-does-the-scholarly-research-say-about-the-well-being-of-transgender-people/

You can also point to the fact that every major medical association endorses gender affirming care for minors and adults:

https://glaad.org/medical-association-statements-supporting-trans-youth-healthcare-and-against-discriminatory/

And I also found this article by a bioethicist useful - it lays out some of the history of gender affirming care in the U.S. and debunks common misconceptions about gender affirming care and in a moderate tone - would be helpful for parents I would imagine:

https://www.openmindmag.org/articles/care-not-controversy

You could also try to find a trans-affirming therapist and see if they would be willing to moderate the conversation with your parents for you.

[โ€“] wintervoid@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 3 days ago

part of what makes having that conversation so difficult is that I already have been presenting as nb to them and they assume I'm fine with that and I don't want to have to come out to them again