Transfem
A community for transfeminine people and experiences.
This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.
Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.
- Please follow the rules of the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance.
- Bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated.
- Gatekeeping will not be tolerated.
- Please be kind and respectful to all.
- Please tag NSFW topics.
- No NSFW image posts.
- Please provide content warnings where appropriate.
- Please do not repost bigoted content here.
This community is supportive of DIY HRT. Unsolicited medical advice or caution being given to people on DIY will result in moderator action.
Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.
Some helpful links:
- The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
- Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
- LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
- Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
- TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
- TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
Support Hotlines:
- The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
- TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
- LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
- 988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.
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the issue with being in the US is with his things are right now I'm worried that the "good care" could get taken away very soon bc of the current politics situation. I don't really know much about how the clinical stuff works besides if you dont get it through planned parenthood you have to be diagnosed and it's a huge wait but I might be completely wrong
If you don't do it through a provider who does the informed consent route, they refer you to therapy initially AFAIK. FWIW I think it's worth trying the clinical route first (Planned Parenthood or otherwise) so that you have experience doing it "right" if your fears actually do come to pass. The federal political climate is a serious concern.
As for your parents, it's good to probe a little bit to know what their opinions are on various queer issues. They will probably try to support you in general, but based on what they know or how they perceive everything around them, they might try to "help" in harmful ways if they're like that. Are they baby boomers? Do they know what trans people are, and the difference (and overlap) between trans and gay? Do they believe in trans rights, or human rights more generally? Are they religious, conscientious, nationalist, liberal, or what? These are the kinds of things you should know about them before broaching the subject, and you can come out in stages if that seems better to you.
I'm kind of out to my parents they know that I go by a different name and I've only told them that I'm nonbinary. they seem to be supportive of my sister who's lesbian as well. I don't know if I can deal with being forced through more therapy to get hrt because my mental health has been in the gutter for the past 3 years and I would preferably not have to "prove" to a cis person that I have severe gender dysphoria
in the U.S. you don't have to get therapy first to get access to HRT, just go to a provider with informed consent - Planned Parenthood for example should be able to give you HRT based on informed consent.
It's cool that you have a queer sibling. It sounds like you parents aren't a problem but some parts of the medical establishment may be. Here's an old Reddit post with discussion on the subject. There might be more up-to-date info now but I think this is a good start:
https://old.reddit.com/r/MtF/comments/d6p6xm/a_map_of_every_informed_consent_no_therapist/
it's just that I'm not ready to have that conversation with my parents yet but I need to medically transition as soon as possible. thank you for the resource
Do you think it might risk the future support of your parents if you start DIY behind their back rather than try to do it the proper way first and in a transparent fashion?
I can't tell your situation, but if it's possible they would be accepting and supportive of starting HRT, it might be worth figuring that out first and then starting HRT through a doctor if it's possible. Then if they aren't supportive, you can always start DIY knowing you tried the other way first.
If you start with DIY, you risk alienating the parents if they find out you are using DIY, usually people (doctors, parents, etc.) will not understand or accept that the risks of DIY are worth it. Getting people off DIY onto regulated, safe sources of hormones is seen as a form of harm reduction by doctors, for example.
I can imagine being a parent and learning my child bought unregulated grey-market drugs from the internet and have been injecting themselves with it would absolutely scare the shit out of me, and I would probably try to put a stop to that behavior, and it would certainly make me less sympathetic and more afraid of the whole prospect of HRT.