If you're lucky, you win the wisdom to understand that no amount of wishful thinking can brute force yourself into being a different person, and you understand that this cycle is borne of internalised ableism.

You win the chance to try again tomorrow — not at being the productivity powerhouse you desperately wish you were, but at being someone who works hard to be kind to themselves — someone who reluctantly embraces the messiness of human existence and tries to find opportunities to work with their ADHD, rather than against it.

It's a bittersweet prize, because it just boils down to "more work". However, it's work that has a chance to build personal fulfillment, instead of stuff that seems engineered to make you resent yourself.