this post was submitted on 26 Sep 2025
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I know you're Cptn. Aggravated and certainly act that way. But.
To everyone reading along. There is a difference in asking for a fuckbuddy and asking for a long term relationship. It is OK to ask for one or the other. It's OK to change your goals later.
Learning to communicate your desires (and acknowledging you were bad at it earlier) is more difficult than one might think, but can be learned.
Learning to communicate what steps you expect to happen when - even harder.
Biological compatibility is a thing. Learning what your type of woman or man looks like also takes time. Maybe discovering you like one sex better than the other. Compatibility is also unreliable if your fucking hormones decide to throw you around every month. It's even worse if you take additional hormones for birth control.
I was on my seventh partner when they were like "you know I like to be kissed and cuddled right now. But next week I expect to be super horny and I love [censored sentence], be prepared..." I was like: Communicating like that is an option? You are allowed to do that? Finding your own style and communication in a realtionship is important. I wasn't a good communicator in that way and my relationships were more mid than they could have been as a result.
I was recently given a field promotion to Acting Major Aggravated.
Wanting a one-night stand, a fling, a friend with benefits, a spouse, a polycule all of these things are fine to want. It is the responsibility of ALL parties involved to communicate their wants, needs and intentions to all other parties accurately and honestly. Saying you want a non-exclusive friend with benefits and then acting possessive like an exclusive couple makes you a bad person. "Here are the rules we agreed to. I am not in violation of any of these rules. You are acting like I have wronged you. Explain." "I didn't mean it when I agreed to those rules, I want these other rules." "So why did you agree to these rules?" You want to renegotiate the rules because your wants have changed? You don't get to unilaterally change those rules and you especially don't get to start enforcing new ones you haven't told anyone about.
Women blather on and on about emotional intelligence in men, meanwhile saying "Hey sometimes I like ____" with words out of your mouth just doesn't occur to them as a thing you can do. Why should any man tolerate that hypocrisy? That lack of self-awareness? Why should men tolerate "men will do [anything] instead of getting therapy" when women are walking around having apparently not discovered the concept of talking to the man she fucks?
Do we need an adulthood test? Do we need to stop just...issuing people rights on their 18th birthdays and instead make that the earliest day they can take the adulthood test?