this post was submitted on 24 Sep 2025
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Jesus would have survived crucifixion if he'd tried harder
On the other hand, I think he nailed it.
The thought must've crossed his mind, just to fuck with the mortals.
What are you talking about, he did survive it, though he slept for 3 days before going to say bye to his friends then goy the fuck out of there before the sick fucks tried again. He then went to Scandinavia where he taught the people to mostly be cool, but, worried about another backlash, told them that maybe one day they can raid and pillage every now and then as a treat.
Wait I got the rest of it, but what’s the Scandinavia part?
Just that Scandinavians are generally pretty chill but there was also those centuries of Viking raids. Plus, with the whole ascending thing, that's about as far north as he could get.
As God, Jesus wouldn't have died unless he wanted to. Jesus committed suicide by Roman(s).
You are correct if one were to assume the contents of the bible are an accurate representation of history; it's mentioned several times during the passion. Effectively Jesus, being God, could have just noped out or gone Old Testament or whatever. He specifically talked about that in the garden of Gethsemane basically saying he knows what's going to happen and is doing so voluntarily.