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Thank you for a thoughtful comment, unfortunately I don't have time right now to read it as carefully as I would like, but I have two short points:
I think you misread the first guy (or one of us did). I understand the statement is not "nonviolent communication is violent" but rather calling distasteful communication "violent communication" both increases the threat posed by words alone and decreases the value of the word "violence" in a physical context. Basically it is better for me to call you an asshole than to punch you in the face, so let's not equate them with terminology.
It may also be possible that your time in psych and corrections makes you more likely to see sociopathy when you've potentially misread or misunderstood which is, itself, potentially harmful to getting a message across.
I will basically never tell someone "seek help for XXX" unless I'm being wildly sarcastic or intentionally combative in either case.
Gotta get my kids but I'll be around later.
Edit:
Basically speech and violence are inherently different things, and I agree with the original poster that I would prefer not to equate them.
Sure, lots of people here on Lemmy may say "obviously words are violence", but I'm not inclined to trust commentary here to be a representative sample. From a purely pragmatic standpoint, flipping this around, would you expect to get tased and sent to jail for calling a cop a pig, just like if you punched him in the face? If no, then it seems to me there's an opportunity for nuance. Sure, this is conflating violence and assault, but if we aren't going to specifically define violence, then it seems to me that's as good a definition as any other. Otherwise what? Any form of meanness is violence? I don't buy it.
There is every reason to communicate directly and succinctly to actually make a point, which precludes tone or particular wording that is offensive, no complaints there. But I would say that by giving a common platform to words and actions we are putting a fair amount of weight behind what I will call "manufactured fragility". It would be great to have the entire world adopt fair and equitable discourse, but that just isn't going to happen with a fingersnap. And in the meantime we are going to ascribe the same verbiage to both mean posters on the Internet and people who batter their children? I see that as an insulting trivialization of "actual" (physical) violence.
This discussion HAS to start with a recognition and definition of terms, and assimilating terminology tastes bad in this case.