this post was submitted on 23 Sep 2025
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I have this online female friend and we have been friends for almost 4 years now. We met in an online game. She's the one who asked my social media ID so we can play together. And she seems to have done to a lot of people as well. So she was kinda collecting a lot of friends. Have seen people get nto her lobbies and say "Thank you so much for listening to me the other day," "You are really a kind person" and so on. There was this one guy used to address her as his "bi*ch". At this I thought they were a couple but apparently they met on the game and known eachother for only a few months and were just friends.

She used to text me first whenever she was about to play. And used to check on me if I hadn't appeared on the game for a week or two.

Later we got close. I stopped gaming but she still plays other games. But after I got close, she stopped texting me first. Only would chat with me if I texted her first. I asked her why she never texts me about anything. She goes "Uhh I am not that type to text people first" "I never do that to anyone" "I think you're just busy" and so on.

So all this weird behaviour had me thinking why she is doing all this? What are her motives? What kind of person is she?

I did ask her these questions many times but only got vague answers. She also never gives anything about her other online friends and usually becomes defensive when I bring them up in a conversation.

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[–] LoreSoong@startrek.website 13 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Lets say your worst fears are correct and this "female", is trying to keep you as an orbiter. Get over yourself, you had no claim to her time.

She was willing to spend time with you before, probably because she thought you were genuinely interested in her platonically and wanted you as a close friend. You caught feelings and are blaming her for her actions and assigning motives to easily explainable actions. you crossed the line, and she pulled away. Shes a social person and wanted many friends. Even if she was interested in you at some point, you said/did something that superseded that. Maybe she felt like you werent reaching out to her enough. but my guess is using the word female unironically to describe a person.

Seems to me that she "Intended" to hop online, play some games and talk to strangers. You should probably back off and re-evaluate how you view people especially women.

Open Book by: Cake https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=YUkLbsc6434

Heres a song, very relevant to your situation.