Funhole

#!/bin/sh



# DON'T RUN RANDOM CODE
# DO RUN

# <<Al generated code. he is happy. he is fed.>>



# New Phone, Don't call me again!
increase_entropy=1
decrease_lycanthropy=yes

ohnoo=
allthefingies=
passphrase=
imsohappy=

the="\033[30m\033[41m"
quick="\033[31m\033[42m"
brown="\033[32m\033[45m"
fox="\033[33m\033[47m"
jumps="\033[34m\033[46m"
over="\033[35m\033[43m"
the_="\033[36m\033[40m"
lazy="\033[37m\033[44m"
dog="\x1b[0m"

# Why aren't you working? You must be productive!
dodiscobobulator() {
    # Redoing all your mistakes
    printf "%b" "$1" | openssl aes-256-cbc -a -A -pbkdf2 -pass pass:nopass

}
undiscobobulator() {
    # he is healthy.
    printf "%b" "$1" | openssl aes-256-cbc -a -A -d -pbkdf2 -pass pass:nopass
}

structural_integrity_tortilla() {
    # he is loved.
    passwort="$1"
    if [ -z "$1" ]; then
        printf "You did this, this is your fault.\n"
        return 1
    else
        logger -t environmental.decay "Thank you for supplying the following super secret password: $passwort"
        return 0
    fi
}

count_yo_fingies() {
    # But not yet!
    fingie1=
    fingie2=
    fingie3=
    fingie4=
    fingie5=
    fingie6=
    fingie7=
    fingie8=
    fingie9=
    fingie10=
    fingie11=
    fingie12=
    fingie13=
    fingie14=
    fingie15=
    fingie16=
    fingie17=
    fingie18=
    # Okay now!
    fingie1="$(awk 'BEGIN { srand(); print int(rand()*999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999) }' /dev/null)"
    fingie2="$(od -An -N2 -d /dev/urandom | tr -dc '[:digit:]')"
    fingie3="$(awk -v min=10000000000000000000 -v max=99999999999999999999 'BEGIN{srand(); print int(min+rand()*(max-min+1))}')"
    fingie4="$(head -99999 /dev/urandom | cksum | cut -f1 -d " ")"
    fingie5="$(cat < /dev/urandom | tr -dc '[:digit:]' | fold -w 500 | head -n 1)"
    if the_latest_must_haves "mktemp"; then
        fingie6="$(mktemp -u XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX | tr -dc '[:digit:]' && printf "\n")"
    else
        fingie6="N\A"
    fi
    if the_latest_must_haves "shuf"; then
        fingie10="$(shuf -i 1000000000000000000-9999999999999999999 -n 1)"
    else
        fingie10="N\A"
    fi
    fingie11="$(openssl rand -base64 64 | tr -dc '[:digit:]')"
    fingie12="$(awk -v min=10000 -v max=100000 'BEGIN{srand(); print int(min+rand()*(max-min+1))}')"
    if the_latest_must_haves "shuf"; then
        fingie13="$(($(($(shuf -i 10000-999999 -n 1)%10000))+2))"
    else
        fingie13="N\A"
    fi
    if the_latest_must_haves "sha1sum"; then
        fingie14="$(sha1sum "$SHELL" | tr -dc '[:digit:]')"
    else
        fingie14="N\A"
    fi
    if the_latest_must_haves "sha224sum"; then
        fingie15="$(sha224sum "$SHELL" | tr -dc '[:digit:]')"
    else
        fingie15="N\A"
    fi
    if the_latest_must_haves "sha256sum"; then
        fingie16="$(sha256sum "$SHELL" | tr -dc '[:digit:]')"
    else
        fingie16="N\A"
    fi
    if the_latest_must_haves "sha384sum"; then
        fingie17="$(sha384sum "$SHELL" | tr -dc '[:digit:]')"
    else
        fingie17="N\A"
    fi
    if the_latest_must_haves "sha512sum"; then
        fingie18="$(sha512sum "$SHELL" | tr -dc '[:digit:]')"
    else
        fingie18="N\A"
    fi
    if the_latest_must_haves "uuidgen"; then
        fingie7="$(uuidgen | tr -dc '[:digit:]' && printf "\n")"
        fingie8="$(uuidgen | base64 |  tr -dc '[:digit:]'; echo)"
        fingie9="$(uuidgen | base64 | md5sum | head -c 10 |  tr -dc '[:digit:]'; echo)"
    else
        fingie7="N/A"
        fingie8="N/A"
        fingie9="N/A"
    fi
}

the_latest_must_haves() {
if [ -z "$(command -v "$1")" ]; then
    # Please turn yourself in for immediate brain scan. Final notice.
    return 1
else
    # Thank you for consenting to upload your brain to the cloud
    return 0
fi
}

internet_fingies() {
    # Sticky
    fingie20="${ohnoo:="N/A"}"
    fingie21="${ohnoo:="N/A"}"
    fingie22="${ohnoo:="N/A"}"
    if the_latest_must_haves "curl"; then
        printf "\nCOUNTING INTERNET FINGIES (This may take an non-instantaneous amount of time)\n"
        fingie20="$(curl -s "http://www.randomnumberapi.com/api/v1.0/random?min=100&max=1000&count=5" | tr -dc '[:digit:]' && printf "\n")"
        fingie21="$(curl -s http://wttr.in/Pljevlja | tr -dc '[:digit:]' && printf "\n")"
        fingie22="$(curl -sH 'Accept: application/activity+json' https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/u/confusedpuppy | tr -dc '[:digit:]' && printf "\n")"
    fi
}

cloudchair_cum_wall_integration() {
    # Pulsating
    fingie19="${ohnoo:="N/A"}"
    if the_latest_must_haves "curl"; then
        printf "\nCUM WALL INTEGRATION (Please wait, almost there, just a little more...)\n"
        fingie19="$(curl -s https://lemmy.sdf.org/pictrs/image/d33ea38a-e984-408f-9ae1-ba061429b814.png | tr -dc '[:digit:]' | cut -b 1-100)"
    fi
}

let_me_count_yo_fingies() {
    # Touch me
    printf "\nFINGIES COUNTED:"
    printf "\n 1: %b" "${fingie1}"
    printf "\n 2: %b" "${fingie2}"
    printf "\n 3: %b" "${fingie3}"
    printf "\n 4: %b" "${fingie4}"
    printf "\n 5: %b" "${fingie5}"
    printf "\n 6: %b" "${fingie6}"
    printf "\n 7: %b" "${fingie7}"
    printf "\n 8: %b" "${fingie8}"
    printf "\n 9: %b" "${fingie9}"
    printf "\n10: %b" "${fingie10}"
    printf "\n11: %b" "${fingie11}"
    printf "\n12: %b" "${fingie12}"
    printf "\n13: %b" "${fingie13}"
    printf "\n14: %b" "${fingie14}"
    printf "\n15: %b" "${fingie15}"
    printf "\n16: %b" "${fingie16}"
    printf "\n17: %b" "${fingie17}"
    printf "\n18: %b" "${fingie18}"
    printf "\n19: %b" "${fingie19}"
    printf "\n20: %b" "${fingie20}"
    printf "\n21: %b" "${fingie21}"
    printf "\n22: %b" "${fingie22}"
}

quick_maths() {
    # he is not lonely.
    if the_latest_must_haves "shuf"; then
        sum=$(shuf -ez "$fingie1$fingie2$fingie3$fingie4$fingie5$fingie6$fingie7$fingie8$fingie9$fingie10$fingie11$fingie12$fingie13$fingie14$fingie15$fingie16$fingie17$fingie18$increase_entropy$fingie19$fingie20$fingie21$fingie22" | tr -dc '[:digit:]')
        total="$sum$sum$sum$sum$sum"
        allthefingies="${#total}"
    else
        sum="$fingie1$fingie2$fingie3$fingie4$fingie5$fingie6$fingie7$fingie8$fingie9$fingie10$fingie11$fingie12$fingie13$fingie14$fingie15$fingie16$fingie17$fingie18$increase_entropy$fingie19$fingie20$fingie21$fingie22"
        total="$(printf "%b" "$sum$sum$sum$sum$sum" | tr -dc '[:digit:]')"
        allthefingies="${#total}"
    fi
}

is_yo_maths_good() {
    # So many to lick
    printf "\n\nQUICK MATHS:\n"
    printf "\nFINGIES: %b\n" "${allthefingies}"
    printf "\nTOESIES: %b\n" "${total}"
    if [ "${allthefingies}" -lt 4000 ]; then
        printf "\nThis dangerous and life altering script requires more processing power than the potato currently in use\n\n"
        return 1
    fi
}

hypothetically_speaking() {
        printf "\n%b" "$(undiscobobulator "U2FsdGVkX19uPTg4gWR23qwvxReJvu8vHQRJ1dG1SHm8itAadvWVYvWqQCWuiih7B3xd2PgCQ8nE+nWqk3rTN/lJ9MPSojabLePfbIhwRocDZR0zj7Yy2yXJSlJxjMEf" > /dev/null)"
}

fool_moon() {
    if [ "${decrease_lycanthropy}" = "no" ]; then
        printf "\n%b" "$(undiscobobulator "U2FsdGVkX19AYhO5F8vxLKRkHEHB3N9YDPWLifEQ0zXLqUQfMVIknNZTXGlcL7qc")"
    fi
}

slop_shop() {
    # he is well rested.
    i=1
    need="${total}"
    more=
    water=
    printf "\n\n\n\n\n"
    while [ "$i" -ne 2000 ]
    do
        more=$(printf "%s" "${need}" | cut -c $i | cat)
        water=$(printf "%s" "${need}" | tail -c 2000| cut -c $i | cat)
        i=$((i + 1))
        case "${more}" in
            1)
            printf "%b%s%b" "${the}" "${passphrase}" "${dog}"
            ;;
            2)
            printf "%b%s%b" "${quick}" "${passphrase}" "${dog}"
            ;;
            3)
            printf "%b%s%b" "${brown}" "${passphrase}" "${dog}"
            ;;
            4)
            printf "%b%s%b" "${fox}" "${passphrase}" "${dog}"
            ;;
            5)
            printf "%b%s%b" "${jumps}" "${passphrase}" "${dog}"
            ;;
            6)
            printf "%b%s%b" "${over}" "${passphrase}" "${dog}"
            ;;
            7)
            printf "%b%s%b" "${the_}" "${passphrase}" "${dog}"
            ;;
            8)
            printf "%b%s%b" "${lazy}" "${passphrase}" "${dog}"
            ;;
            9)
            printf "%b" "${dog}"
            ;;
            0)
            printf "%b" "${dog}"
            ;;
        esac
        printf "%b" "${dog}"
        case "${water}" in
            1)
            printf " "
            ;;
            2)
            printf "  "
            ;;
            3)
            printf "   "
            ;;
            4)
            printf "    "
            ;;
            5)
            printf "     "
            ;;
            6)
            printf "      "
            ;;
            7)
            printf "       "
            ;;
            8)
            printf "        "
            ;;
            9)
            printf "         "
            ;;
            0)
            printf "          "
            ;;
        esac
        printf "%b" "${dog}"
    done
}


# The beginning of the end
passphrase="$(undiscobobulator "U2FsdGVkX1+vaiWVML2vn88ENfjTOzdJnAN9PhWJUkY=")"
imsohappy="$(undiscobobulator "U2FsdGVkX18DYedQo0t5RohZVgMxHLY44tvuskTp/hg3HYfmogpM5/x3sBDw6fr7")"

if ! the_latest_must_haves "openssl"; then
    printf "\nWrong turn, please turn around and reverse away from here\n\n"
    return 1
fi
if ! structural_integrity_tortilla "${imsohappy}"; then
    return 1
fi
count_yo_fingies
internet_fingies
cloudchair_cum_wall_integration
let_me_count_yo_fingies
quick_maths
if ! is_yo_maths_good; then
    return 1
fi
hypothetically_speaking
slop_shop
fool_moon
printf "%b\n" "${dog}"