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I still reference this Penny Arcade strip 15 years later:
I mostly agree with the sentiment, people say something is derivative when they dislike it and it's an homage or a reference when they do
I don't think you're entirely wrong, but to me, the difference is that a good homage can stand apart as its own Thing, whereas something that's derivative has to lean hard on the the tropes and trappings of the original in order to be anything at all.
Example: Stardew Valley vs a bunch of really mid/mediocre farming life sims it shares a genre with. SV is deliberately an homage to the Harvest Moon/Song of Seasons series and is upfront about it. But you can still pick up SV and have a great time with it, because it's a well-designed and complete game on its own, regardless of whether you even know HM/SoS exists. Whereas with the copycats, the big selling point is "it's just like [Harvest Moon/Stardew Valley]!" There's not enough actual substance for these games to stand on their own.
Obviously, "quality" is a subjective measurement and all, but I think that's where I would draw the line between an "homage" and "derivative."