this post was submitted on 22 Sep 2025
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I'd just like to say, as a woman who used dating apps a lot in my young 20s, I didn't put "looking for hookups" even when that's what I wanted. If a woman puts on her profile that she's looking for hookups, some guys become scarily entitled. For some reason some people think "wanting a hookup" means "I will fuck anyone who asks." Which is... quite the bizarre leap. Add in, such profiles get inundated with messages - some guys will react poorly if ignored, while others will react poorly if responded to but then rejected. It's a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation, with some unhinged folk who have your picture, name, and know what town you live in.
I quickly realized it was a bad idea and never chose that option on a dating profile again.
dating sites, apps, "pickup games" draws out the creeps around women, aka "nice guys". i happened to overhears a family member who binges on pickup material, and i noticed alot of the "artists" or people become from mildly offended to passive aggressive when they get rejected. its probably the passive aggressive that women should look out for.
I figured, but also now theres just straight up separate pools I think. When you create an account one of the settings is specifically "looking for friends". Part of "the game" I'm glad I dont have to race around trying to play anymore tbh. (But yeah no I get totally sucks on the women's end too for the opposite reason it sucks for men)