The Onion and other satire w/ layers

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Report: You to be fired for reading this headline about Charlie Kirk (theonion.com)

submitted 21 hours ago by MHLoppy@fedia.io to c/theonion@sh.itjust.works

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Insisting your fate was sealed the moment you clicked the link, a report released Tuesday found that you will be fired for reading this headline about Charlie Kirk. “Shortly after you navigated to this article, your IP address was logged and your supervisor approved the decision to remove you from your position,” the report read in part, revealing that the choice had been made after a brief conversation among your superiors in which it was repeatedly emphasized that your behavior in loading this page and spending nearly two minutes reading its content about the late Turning Point USA co-founder was an action inappropriate for the moment. [...]

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[–] QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works 5 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

I'm terrified. The Right is coming after us. They are straight up using Kirk's death as the modernbday reichstag fire. This is no time to be laughing.

hyperventilating

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 3 points 10 hours ago

It's not the Reichstag fire in the sense that Trump can call a vote on totalitarianism. But yeah, one's feelings on the matter are now a clear litmus test.

With AI scanning our comms, my free speech has been chilled, though I'm still a fucking loud mouth.

We're not quite there yet, but in a year or two, I could see my passport application being denied, or my wife not being allowed back in country. She's dying to go home and see her kids, and we're doing it, but I'm scared shitless. And in the meantime, I'm armed everywhere I go.