this post was submitted on 15 Sep 2025
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how did you cope with dysphoria pre social and medical transition? (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 2 days ago by wintervoid@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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[–] birdwing@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Literally this entire post, yeah. I'd also add that for bottom dysphoria, what may help is a bit of tucking. Or wearing relatively loose shorts, so that you don't see the bits.

For voice training, it's better imo to exercise a few min a day, build it up gradually. You want to train the frequency (height), resonance (the intensity), and coarseness (creakiness).

Pre-hrt and if you do have a child wish, it's also recommendable to freeze in your stuff. Post-hrt it can be harder to do so, meaning you might have to get off hrt - which isn't too much fun.

For hair removal, best is laser.

[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

+1 for tucking, especially wearing a comfortable gaff - even just not feeling the gentials slapping around is a benefit

also +1 for getting fertility treatment and freezing sperm, even if you don't currently want children - it's not uncommon estrogen changes a trans woman to want children. I never once wanted children, but estrogen flipped a biological switch for me and now I wish I could be a mother.

with voice training, I agree you shouldn't spend much time on exercises each day (some people spend hours and that can lead to strain and injury) - but you should experiment with the voice and be "training" frequently, so maybe a few minutes, but many times a day. Ideally you are always voice training, paying as much attention to your voice and feminizing it as you can.

Frequency is pitch, which I'm not sure is related to "height" - maybe you meant pitch? The pitch is one of the less relevant aspects to how a voice is gendered, compared to weight and size (resonance). It's mostly important you don't drop pitch too far below F3 (180 Hz), and ironically this is partially because of the impact of pitch on weight (a low enough pitch makes it hard to maintain a light voice, and a high enough pitch is harder to make heavy). It's a misconception that pitch is the main gendering factor of someone's voice.

Resonance I have never heard referred to as "intensity", but I have heard weight referred to as "intensity", so I don't know where you are getting this from.

I have a voice training copypasta I can share that explains these concepts of weight and size, etc.

Also not sure what is meant by "creakiness" or "coarseness", these aren't terms I have encountered in voice training.

(for context, I've been training for almost two years now, here's a clip of my voice I recorded 5ish months ago - I'm open to critique)

Also, for hair removal, laser can be helpful for hair reduction for those with pale skin and dark hairs, but electrolysis is the main and most effective method of permanent hair removal.

Unfortunately electrolysis is expensive, painful, and time consuming - so I agree laser is a great place to start if you are a good candidate for it. Not uncommon to start with laser and then switch to electrolysis for what laser couldn't treat.

[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 day ago

here is that voice training beginner's guide, by the way:

Broadly the two main gendering qualities to a voice are weight and size. With voice training the general idea is to:

  1. ear train: learn to recognize when you weight is heavy vs light, when size is large vs small

  2. mimic and experiment: learn to produce voices that are different weights and sizes, and esp. how to balance those to produce a typical feminine voice (suitably light and small)

  3. practice: just keep listening and recognizing when you're slipping up and to adjust your voice back into the feminine range, over time and lots of persistent practice, this habituates and becomes your voice!

For exploring weight:

For size:

For more about the balance of weight and size:

Videos to help guide expectations for beginners:

For beginners it can also be helpful to explore more achievable lower-pitch feminine voices:

To ear train, it's commonly recommended to listen to and "play along" with Selene's clips:

Note: as you experiment or do any voice training exercise, make sure to pay close attention to:

  • how it sounds to you as you do it,
  • how it sounds when you record it and play it back for yourself,
  • how others report they hear it, and also
  • how it feels (in your body) when you produce the different sounds, keeping mental note so you can reproduce the voice if you need.

Experiments to try:

  • using a pitch detector, sing a note and chant a word while maintain the same pitch, and change resonance/size from dark/large to bright/small while keeping pitch the same
  • using a pitch detector, keep pitch steady and practice going from a heavy to a light weight without changing pitch
  • mimic a large voice, like Patrick from Spongebob, or the Giant from Jack in the Beanstalk
  • mimic a small voice, like when you talk to a baby or a cute puppy or animal, or accessible overfull childish voices, like Ash Ketchum from Pokemon or Dexter from Dexter's Lab
  • mimic a heavy voice
  • mimic a light voice
  • try producing an underfull voice intentionally
  • try producing an overfull voice intentionally
  • try going from full masc to overfull
  • from full masc to underfull
  • from full masc to full fem
  • from full fem back to full masc
  • from underfull to full fem
  • from overfull to full fem