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I was bullied at every school I went to. Growing up an undiagnosed autistic girl was not easy. I managed to make a few friends when I got to a bigger school because we were all outcasts together, but that wasn't until I was 16 and almost done school. Even after I stood up to my bully when I was 15 I still got tortured at the small town school before that.
TBH I still don't know how to make friends today and my only friend is one of the ones I managed to dupe into liking me when I was 16 lol
I relate to the friend problem too much. Last friend I made was ~15 years ago.
I made a friend, she was like a sister to me for 12 years. Our families lived together for almost a decade, I was a surrogate for her, we were family. Earlier this year she went on a racist tirade and when I wasn't ok with it she stopped talking to me. Now I'm scared to try making friends again.
The friend I kept from high school may be distant now, but at least she's consistent and out expectations of each other are equal: don't be an asshole, see you next year.