this post was submitted on 29 Aug 2025
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To me, the real issue is that the entire process is one giant double standard which is built on that expectation. At least it is in the US.
If a woman wants to change her last name to her husband's, it's fairly easy. She can just mail a form to the Social Security Administration and use her SS card to get a new photo ID.
If a man wants to change his last name to his wife's, he has to hire an attorney and get a court order.
I guess this is the US of A? Here in a northern European country you get the option when you marry to keep your names, combine both, only keep the husband's or only keep the wife's.
Now that's the way to do it.
In Spain, since the 16th century, the wife keeps her last name, and father and mother last names are used, the order of which can be changed.
Also, after your 18th birthday you can change it to whichever order you want.
I've wondered, though, what happens when the kid gets married and has a kid?
When Juan Acevedo-Rodriguez marries Mariana Cortez-Garza, what is their kid's last name?
Edit: disregard, I should have kept scrolling, someone already answered my question.
Not to detract from your general point, but no, you don't need an attorney to change your name in (at least most of) the US, especially if you have a reason you can put on a simple court filing like "marriage". It is somewhat unnecessarily complicated by paperwork, but you definitely don't need a lawyer and it isn't recommended to pay for one for something so simple.
I know this because I'm transgender and have changed my entire name, and looked up the process in multiple states.
You had to do it in multiple states? Or was it a One State to Rule them All situation? Serious question, by the way.
I looked into the process in multiple states cause I was moving around from state to state at the time I wanted to change it, and while I'm originally from Michigan and would have to go through them for birth certificate changes (so yes, kinda one state to rule them all), the rest of the legal name change process is done wherever you currently live.
Oh, sheesh! That's tough! I hope you were able to get it done and registered and that you are now called by your heart's name.
That's good to know. Still more complicated than it should be but not as bad as I thought.
It’s even worse in Japan, where married women are legally required to take their husband’s name. (There is mounting pressure to reform this, though the conservative ruling party is dragging its feet.)